This past Monday, we celebrated my 35th birthday... 35 years earth side. It is still kind of hard for me to wrap my head around! I feel like so much has happened in my life, and yet nothing at all.
On my 34th birthday, I woke up and took a pregnancy test. It IMMEDIATELY turned positive. When I say immediately, I mean just that. I was shocked at how fast it turned! I didn't have to wait for 2 minutes... I was SHOCKED!! After throwing the box all around to find the actual directions, I came out of the bathroom to wake Brandon up. He heard my thrashing around and thought I fighting with a spider... He was also half asleep and had completely forgotten I was going to take a test.
See, we had tried for so long and gotten so many negative tests that he wasn't even sure I should take the test in the first place. He was afraid that I would take the test on the morning of my birthday, and then be crushed the rest of the day. To say that we were both surprised is a complete understatement.
Here we are, 1 year later - a 3 piece band!
This past year of my life has been a crazy fun roller coaster ride!! I have learned what my body is able to handle, what my mind is able to handle, and what my marriage is able to handle! Pregnancy was not easy for me... in fact, I would rather not do it again... I didn't enjoy it as much as some. I hated being at the doctor all the time, I hated having to give myself insulin shots, I just flat out did not enjoy it.
Labor and delivery is what I was most afraid of, but I have to be honest - with the epidural, I could do that again! For sure! I mean, I slept through most of it... and even the delivery, I don't think I was fully awake for it... but she made it a piece of cake!
What I didn't realize was how much my hormones were going to make me crazy... I never realized how in love with a tiny human I could be. I also never realized how different I would feel. I only feel sad when I start thinking about how I have to go to work and leave her all day long. Let me be very honest here, I don't feel like myself anymore... my entire focus is on my daughter and making sure she is completely taken care of. I think if I were married to anyone else, there would be a problem. Thankfully, I married my absolute best friend - He understands me, he also doesn't take it personally and is walking through this WITH me!
What I have learned the most over this last year is that you HAVE to have a firm foundation to build your life and family on. Otherwise, you might fall. We are still working on finding date nights, which I make it through with anxiety, but I still make it! We are still working on finding balance between our family and the outside world - thankfully, ole girl loves her sleep and seems to really just go with the flow.
Last year determined how strong I really am. This year, my goal is to continue that strength and pass it on to others! Here is to another year!!!
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