I went and got x-rays on my foot this morning. It’s officially broken. My toe is broken and the bone down the right side of my foot is fractured. All from books!
Needless to say, my workouts will be interrupted for the next 2 weeks at the very least. Think I can still do workouts in my cousin’s pool? If so, anyone have any ideas on what to do?
Mom and I are heading to Miami in less than 2 weeks for a payroll conference. I hope to spend a few hours each day on the beach, without this stupid boot though. Hopefully my toe and self-confidence cooperate.
Meanwhile, how are you?
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Broken toes and bikes
Yesterday was a good day for a nap. Actually, I got up in the morning and went for a bike ride with my mom. We went about a mile again. I went home and decided to lie down on my bed, which wasn’t a smart thing to do, and woke up around 5. I got up and realized I had slept my last day of vacation completely away.
I had plans to take the 3 bags of books I have collected to a used bookstore in Edwardsville, but didn’t wake up in time. So, this morning, after returning from the gym, I decided it would be fun to kick said books with my baby toe. I am pretty sure it’s broken, and that makes me sad.
I went to the gym this morning and did a training circuit from Jillian’s Winning by Losing book. I felt really good when I got home. And then I kicked the books! By the time I got out of the shower, my toe was purple. I had to wear tennis shoes to work today, because I couldn’t get my foot in any other shoe… Not good times.
But, after work, if it’s still hurting, I am headed to my cousins to go swimming! Low impact and is still excursing. Wish I could bike there, but don’t think I could make it there and back without some serious pain. I know, I know… no pain, no gain.
I do have a bike question though… my left leg really hurts when I peddle my bike, and I don’t feel like I am getting good extension in either leg. But, if I raise my seat any higher, I feel like I can’t get on the seat… any thoughts? Maybe I just need to take my bike and get a pro fit?
I had plans to take the 3 bags of books I have collected to a used bookstore in Edwardsville, but didn’t wake up in time. So, this morning, after returning from the gym, I decided it would be fun to kick said books with my baby toe. I am pretty sure it’s broken, and that makes me sad.
I went to the gym this morning and did a training circuit from Jillian’s Winning by Losing book. I felt really good when I got home. And then I kicked the books! By the time I got out of the shower, my toe was purple. I had to wear tennis shoes to work today, because I couldn’t get my foot in any other shoe… Not good times.
But, after work, if it’s still hurting, I am headed to my cousins to go swimming! Low impact and is still excursing. Wish I could bike there, but don’t think I could make it there and back without some serious pain. I know, I know… no pain, no gain.
I do have a bike question though… my left leg really hurts when I peddle my bike, and I don’t feel like I am getting good extension in either leg. But, if I raise my seat any higher, I feel like I can’t get on the seat… any thoughts? Maybe I just need to take my bike and get a pro fit?
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Bike rides, 4th of July, and being worthy
I finally went and bought my cruiser! My mom bought one too. I called her up and said "we are going somewhere, but put on comfy clothes and comfy shoes." Once I got her in the car, I told her we were going to get bikes. And I told her it was because I am sick of making excuses as to why I don't or won't do things. So, we went to Wal-Mart, only because if we didn't enjoy it we didn't want to spend a lot of money, and bought cruisers. I bought the one in the picture from my last post; mom bought a purple female cruiser. I am starting to realize that my legs are too short to ride a 26 inch bike... I think I just need to get used to it again.
When we got them back home, we made a few adjustments to our liking and off we went. I didn't think we went that far, but according to the distance tracker, we went 3 miles! 3 MILES!! No wonder my lady parts hate me today... We went a mile and a half out and back. We were going to make a loop, but we started to feel tired, so we turned around and came back. It wasn't too hot, and we took water with us in my back pack so we stopped a few times to rest in the shade.
Today, we went for a bike ride, but only went around the neighborhood. Mom wanted to go farther, but my lady parts just wouldn't let me. They screamed at me the entire time! The distance was a mile, which isn't too bad for day 2.
I also went swimming at my cousin's house, but really I just laid in a floaty for a while. I don't know how to swim laps, and honestly the water was too cold to do much in anyway. BUT tomorrow I am going to ride bikes with my mom, and then after that I am going to go back to my cousin's house and get in the pool. I am determined to figure out how to swim, without killing myself! She gave me full access to the pool anytime I wanted, so I have to give it a try. My cousin also offered to get me into Weight Watchers with her daughter. I don't like to give out any info on my family, but to give an idea of ages here between me and my cousin... my cousin is probably 15 years older than me, and her daughter graduated in 2006 so it's not like we are talking a small kid or anything.
I am considering it, only because I need help that I can't give myself. I need better guidance on eating and exercising. More than I can get out of a book on my own. It would be nice to have someone, flesh and blood, right there with me every step of the way. Someone to encourage me, maybe even scream in my face when needed, and remind me that I AM worth it. I am worthy of love, friendship, and reaching any goal that I set for myself.
I am not the only person in the world who doesn’t feel this way, I know I am not the only one who feels worthy. But let me tell you this, before I sound too preachy and feel like I should stand behind a pulpit, you are worthy. You are worth every single bit of it. You are worth everything you want. So am I. But I bet you think like I do, it’s nice to hear it from someone OUTSIDE the situation. It’s nice when someone else tells you that you are beautiful, desired, worthy, anything you want to hear.
But you need to know it in order to live it, which isn’t easy. So, I am going to step off my soap box and go watch some fireworks and feel like a kid again.
Happy 4th!
When we got them back home, we made a few adjustments to our liking and off we went. I didn't think we went that far, but according to the distance tracker, we went 3 miles! 3 MILES!! No wonder my lady parts hate me today... We went a mile and a half out and back. We were going to make a loop, but we started to feel tired, so we turned around and came back. It wasn't too hot, and we took water with us in my back pack so we stopped a few times to rest in the shade.
Today, we went for a bike ride, but only went around the neighborhood. Mom wanted to go farther, but my lady parts just wouldn't let me. They screamed at me the entire time! The distance was a mile, which isn't too bad for day 2.
I also went swimming at my cousin's house, but really I just laid in a floaty for a while. I don't know how to swim laps, and honestly the water was too cold to do much in anyway. BUT tomorrow I am going to ride bikes with my mom, and then after that I am going to go back to my cousin's house and get in the pool. I am determined to figure out how to swim, without killing myself! She gave me full access to the pool anytime I wanted, so I have to give it a try. My cousin also offered to get me into Weight Watchers with her daughter. I don't like to give out any info on my family, but to give an idea of ages here between me and my cousin... my cousin is probably 15 years older than me, and her daughter graduated in 2006 so it's not like we are talking a small kid or anything.
I am considering it, only because I need help that I can't give myself. I need better guidance on eating and exercising. More than I can get out of a book on my own. It would be nice to have someone, flesh and blood, right there with me every step of the way. Someone to encourage me, maybe even scream in my face when needed, and remind me that I AM worth it. I am worthy of love, friendship, and reaching any goal that I set for myself.
I am not the only person in the world who doesn’t feel this way, I know I am not the only one who feels worthy. But let me tell you this, before I sound too preachy and feel like I should stand behind a pulpit, you are worthy. You are worth every single bit of it. You are worth everything you want. So am I. But I bet you think like I do, it’s nice to hear it from someone OUTSIDE the situation. It’s nice when someone else tells you that you are beautiful, desired, worthy, anything you want to hear.
But you need to know it in order to live it, which isn’t easy. So, I am going to step off my soap box and go watch some fireworks and feel like a kid again.
Happy 4th!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Thursday ramblings
I bought 2 cruisers for Christmas, but they need work and it’s been too hot or too cold to work on them. But if the weather holds out this weekend, I just might get started. Why 2? Well, I bought one for the roomie for Christmas and got the second one for me! Then I got another bike from Brian, because we traded. I had a Schwinn Racer that he wanted, so we traded for it. It’s all his fault… But they are fun!
I haven’t been to the gym since Monday, but Tuesday was jam packed full of things to do. Mainly, work and then ECLIPSE! That’s right, I LOVE the Twilight Series. I don’t have any t-shirts or action figures, but I do that the books, which I am getting ready to finish up for the second time. I got in line at the theater for the midnight showing at 6:30 Tuesday evening. My friends showed up between 8 and 9. It was AWESOME!!! But we didn’t get home until like 3:30 Wednesday morning… When I got up at 10:30, all I did was move to my chair until 11:30. I had a baseball game to go to.
I walked the stadium though, in my mind that counts. And I only had 1 Bud Select, and didn’t even finish it. I ate 1 hotdog with mustard and I had to have red velvet cake!
Tonight, I hope to get a walk in or maybe a bike ride; even if it’s just around my neighborhood or something. I need to get motivated again. I need to get on my bike again. Hopefully this weekend I will get to the gym and do things for ME and MY weight loss!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Case of the Mondays
Just a quick update today… I.HATE.MONDAYS!
I got up and went to the gym this morning and had trouble waking up. I was walking on the tread and just when I would zone out; I would stagger and feel like I was falling off. This is why I don’t like treadmills. I don’t feel I have enough balance to just let go while I am on it. I feel like I am going to fall off, which I do not under any circumstances want to do.
Then!! I got home, pulled my car in the garage, and didn’t feel like I had the energy to get out and go in the house. I sat there feeling like I was dozing off for about 5 minutes. It could have been longer, I could have fallen asleep… who knows. I go in the house and went straight to the couch, which so is not normal for me. Usually, once I am up and the blood is pumping, I am awake. Might not be happy that I am awake, but I can at least function.
Lucy, my pup, jumped on the couch and tried to hand me her favorite toy, which I normally throw for her. Not this morning. I just looked at her, in all her panting puppy happiness and I just couldn’t help but wonder what it’s like to be her. She is so happy when I come through the door; even I go out long enough to take the trash out. It’s like she hasn’t seen me in years! If I go into the bathroom, she lays in the hallway waiting for me. She is always ready to play and is my little shadow.
Finally after her nudging my arm towards her toy, I threw it. A couple throws later, I pry myself off the couch and get in the shower. I got out of the house about 10 minutes later than usual; making me miss the 7:10 train for work.
I am still sleepy, but it’s starting to pass. I have food in my system now and am drinking water, so hopefully I will feel like my regular self soon.
Why so sleepy on Mondays??
I got up and went to the gym this morning and had trouble waking up. I was walking on the tread and just when I would zone out; I would stagger and feel like I was falling off. This is why I don’t like treadmills. I don’t feel I have enough balance to just let go while I am on it. I feel like I am going to fall off, which I do not under any circumstances want to do.
Then!! I got home, pulled my car in the garage, and didn’t feel like I had the energy to get out and go in the house. I sat there feeling like I was dozing off for about 5 minutes. It could have been longer, I could have fallen asleep… who knows. I go in the house and went straight to the couch, which so is not normal for me. Usually, once I am up and the blood is pumping, I am awake. Might not be happy that I am awake, but I can at least function.
Lucy, my pup, jumped on the couch and tried to hand me her favorite toy, which I normally throw for her. Not this morning. I just looked at her, in all her panting puppy happiness and I just couldn’t help but wonder what it’s like to be her. She is so happy when I come through the door; even I go out long enough to take the trash out. It’s like she hasn’t seen me in years! If I go into the bathroom, she lays in the hallway waiting for me. She is always ready to play and is my little shadow.
Finally after her nudging my arm towards her toy, I threw it. A couple throws later, I pry myself off the couch and get in the shower. I got out of the house about 10 minutes later than usual; making me miss the 7:10 train for work.
I am still sleepy, but it’s starting to pass. I have food in my system now and am drinking water, so hopefully I will feel like my regular self soon.
Why so sleepy on Mondays??
Friday, June 25, 2010
New Pants and a Give Away!
So, I took yesterday off work. Why? Well, digestive issues that I totally and completely blame on my gall bladder; or lack of one. Ever since my surgery, my insides have never been the same. And it’s been a pain in my butt (literally) ever since. My system only enjoys foods that are bland and have almost no taste. Anything that tastes good, well… causes me to have some issues and I hate it!
BUT!! Thanks in part to this issue, and my desire to not be a fat kid anymore; I have been noticing that my jeans have been getting loose. So loose in fact, I had to use a belt. Then, this belt caused the jeans to bunch up to much; I decided that it might be time to get a new pair of pants one size down.
Once I thought my insides were settled enough for a trip outdoors yesterday, I ran to the bank and then headed to the G.C. Goodwill. I figure if I am going to have to buy clothing that will only be temporarily housed in my closet, I am NOT buying brand new… that gets expensive.
I went to the jeans, and one of the first pairs I looked at were exactly the size I needed! I figured it was fate, so I grabbed them up. I also found 2 other pairs, all 3 different cuts and fits. Hey, a girl has to have variety. 13 bucks later, I am the proud owner of 3 pairs of pants that are a size smaller than what I had originally.
They will take a little bit more work to fit comfortably, BUT I got them on button and zipped without having to lie down and use pliers to pull the zipper! I could even breathe once they were on!! So, now that I have gotten a new hint of motivation, I can’t wait to get to work! Tomorrow, I am and WILL attend my first Zumba class. Even if I suck, at least I will be moving!
So, up for grabs is 2 pair of pants that are too large for me. I know if I keep them in my closet, then I will have fat clothes to go back to, and guess what? I am never going back! One pair is a size 22 from Lane Bryant. The other pair is 44 waist, 30 length (I think) Arizona Brand. Yes, I also have men’s jeans. They fit better on me and men’s jeans are made with more of a fit variety.
Message me if you want in on my new found motivation! (pictures to follow later!)
BUT!! Thanks in part to this issue, and my desire to not be a fat kid anymore; I have been noticing that my jeans have been getting loose. So loose in fact, I had to use a belt. Then, this belt caused the jeans to bunch up to much; I decided that it might be time to get a new pair of pants one size down.
Once I thought my insides were settled enough for a trip outdoors yesterday, I ran to the bank and then headed to the G.C. Goodwill. I figure if I am going to have to buy clothing that will only be temporarily housed in my closet, I am NOT buying brand new… that gets expensive.
I went to the jeans, and one of the first pairs I looked at were exactly the size I needed! I figured it was fate, so I grabbed them up. I also found 2 other pairs, all 3 different cuts and fits. Hey, a girl has to have variety. 13 bucks later, I am the proud owner of 3 pairs of pants that are a size smaller than what I had originally.
They will take a little bit more work to fit comfortably, BUT I got them on button and zipped without having to lie down and use pliers to pull the zipper! I could even breathe once they were on!! So, now that I have gotten a new hint of motivation, I can’t wait to get to work! Tomorrow, I am and WILL attend my first Zumba class. Even if I suck, at least I will be moving!
So, up for grabs is 2 pair of pants that are too large for me. I know if I keep them in my closet, then I will have fat clothes to go back to, and guess what? I am never going back! One pair is a size 22 from Lane Bryant. The other pair is 44 waist, 30 length (I think) Arizona Brand. Yes, I also have men’s jeans. They fit better on me and men’s jeans are made with more of a fit variety.
Message me if you want in on my new found motivation! (pictures to follow later!)
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Frustrated and Hot!!
The road to my goal weight is paved with… well it’s not paved at all. It’s an extremely hard uphill hiking course. It’s steep and rocky and well… it makes me want to sit down and eat everything I see. Why? Well because I am getting discouraged and tired.
Call me masochistic, but I would enjoy it thoroughly if Jillian Michaels came to my house and kicked my ass for a week. I would welcome her into my home with open arms, and then drop and give her 20. She could scream in my face all day long if she wanted to, as long as she was willing to hold the tissue for me while I crumbled at her feet; or throw up… which ever happened first. My money would be on throwing up though, since I have already been there and done that. I have been watching her new show “Losing It with Jillian” and what I wouldn’t give to be in these people’s shoes, once Jillian is there of course.
Too bad she is in LA and I am here in the oven, respectively known as St. Louis… we are in a serious heat wave right now. I think I lost 10 pounds cutting my back yard the other night… seriously, it’s HOT!!
I have a lot of ideas rolling around in my head, but I don’t want to step on toes from other blogs. I have some really good motivational ideas too, but not sure if they would work or not… And I have been doing some reading that I would like to share as well.
What would you like first??
Call me masochistic, but I would enjoy it thoroughly if Jillian Michaels came to my house and kicked my ass for a week. I would welcome her into my home with open arms, and then drop and give her 20. She could scream in my face all day long if she wanted to, as long as she was willing to hold the tissue for me while I crumbled at her feet; or throw up… which ever happened first. My money would be on throwing up though, since I have already been there and done that. I have been watching her new show “Losing It with Jillian” and what I wouldn’t give to be in these people’s shoes, once Jillian is there of course.
Too bad she is in LA and I am here in the oven, respectively known as St. Louis… we are in a serious heat wave right now. I think I lost 10 pounds cutting my back yard the other night… seriously, it’s HOT!!
I have a lot of ideas rolling around in my head, but I don’t want to step on toes from other blogs. I have some really good motivational ideas too, but not sure if they would work or not… And I have been doing some reading that I would like to share as well.
What would you like first??
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
WOW! Thats a Low Price!
or Damn Its Been a Long Time!
or Where Did You Go?
Well, I went on vacation to be honest. And it was the best vacation ever! All I did was go visit my sister and her wonderful family, but I had a great time! Even went to NOLA and did some art shopping.
Did I run? Sadly, no. I haven't done too much of anything to be honest. BUT I am currently trying something new. I have changed my schedule at work so that I can hit the gym BEFORE work. And to be honest, its really working out well for me.
I get out of bed no later than 5:30, which is what time I used to get up anyway. I am at the gym by 5:45, and the place is almost entirely empty! I love it! I am home between 6:15 and 6:30. In the shower and out the door for work by 7. I have also started using the St Louis MetroLink, which is the StL area's answer to the subway. I park in a free parking lot, and though I don't get home any earlier, I have already hit the gym for the day.
I get home by 6 in the evenings and all I have to worry about now is making dinner! Its a great feeling. Yesterday was a flop on the schedule thanks to feeling sick to my stomach and eventually getting sick. But I am loving it.
What was I doing before? Well, I would get up at the same time, but be out of my house by 6:15 to ride in with my parents. Since dad has to be at work by 7, that means mom and I did too. We would leave at 5 and get home at 6. I would change my clothes and then go to the gym, if I hadn't talked myself out of it by then. I would get home around 7, make dinner usually and finally get to sit in my chair around 8... thats a LLLLOOONNNGGGG day. And lately I had talked myself out of the gym more than I should have...
Doing this new schedule though, I don't feel the afternoon slump and I don't feel like I am fighting with myself to go to the gym, so I think this works for me!
Anything new in your world?
or Where Did You Go?
Well, I went on vacation to be honest. And it was the best vacation ever! All I did was go visit my sister and her wonderful family, but I had a great time! Even went to NOLA and did some art shopping.
Did I run? Sadly, no. I haven't done too much of anything to be honest. BUT I am currently trying something new. I have changed my schedule at work so that I can hit the gym BEFORE work. And to be honest, its really working out well for me.
I get out of bed no later than 5:30, which is what time I used to get up anyway. I am at the gym by 5:45, and the place is almost entirely empty! I love it! I am home between 6:15 and 6:30. In the shower and out the door for work by 7. I have also started using the St Louis MetroLink, which is the StL area's answer to the subway. I park in a free parking lot, and though I don't get home any earlier, I have already hit the gym for the day.
I get home by 6 in the evenings and all I have to worry about now is making dinner! Its a great feeling. Yesterday was a flop on the schedule thanks to feeling sick to my stomach and eventually getting sick. But I am loving it.
What was I doing before? Well, I would get up at the same time, but be out of my house by 6:15 to ride in with my parents. Since dad has to be at work by 7, that means mom and I did too. We would leave at 5 and get home at 6. I would change my clothes and then go to the gym, if I hadn't talked myself out of it by then. I would get home around 7, make dinner usually and finally get to sit in my chair around 8... thats a LLLLOOONNNGGGG day. And lately I had talked myself out of the gym more than I should have...
Doing this new schedule though, I don't feel the afternoon slump and I don't feel like I am fighting with myself to go to the gym, so I think this works for me!
Anything new in your world?
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Runners Month
In my quest to remind myself that I am human, I have also decided to start the first phase of South Beach again. It really worked for me the first time, and so far I have stuck to it pretty well… today is day 2 though. But still, that’s a good thing that its day 2 and I feel I am doing well. If I felt I wasn’t, I would give up.
Why didn’t it work the first time? Well, simple. I got comfortable and forgot that part of the reason I started to lose weight in the first place was because of better eating habits. I went back to eating what I wanted with no restrictions.
I would like to start a goal; a goal for myself and anyone who reads this. Since May is Runners Month, why not set a goal to run/walk at least 1 mile a day? That’s probably an easy goal to set and keep. I mean, it really isn’t that far when you think about it.
I am going to do my best to keep that up even while I am on vacation! I will just map out an out and back from my sister’s house and attempt to take care of it early when she takes the boys to school while I am down there next week.
What will your goal for Runners Month be?
Why didn’t it work the first time? Well, simple. I got comfortable and forgot that part of the reason I started to lose weight in the first place was because of better eating habits. I went back to eating what I wanted with no restrictions.
I would like to start a goal; a goal for myself and anyone who reads this. Since May is Runners Month, why not set a goal to run/walk at least 1 mile a day? That’s probably an easy goal to set and keep. I mean, it really isn’t that far when you think about it.
I am going to do my best to keep that up even while I am on vacation! I will just map out an out and back from my sister’s house and attempt to take care of it early when she takes the boys to school while I am down there next week.
What will your goal for Runners Month be?
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
C25K??
So I am considering give the couch to 5k a chance. The reason I haven’t is because I forget to go to bed at 9:30 most nights, how am I going to remember to update the pod cast? But, I need a push from something.
Everything I have read about running, the writers are always argues against wearing anything in your ears while you run. Their argument is that if you are busy listening to an iPod or its equivalent, you may not hear something that could potentially be important; such as sirens, other runners, or anything at all.
I listen to my iPod at the gym, only because watching the TV while I am busy having a seizure on the elliptical or treadmill makes me motion sick… So, I made a rockin workout play list and jam out to that. And I usually have the volume all the way up. What? It drowns out the machine noises and other gym sounds that can get loud. Plus, I am always looking around, because I get bored looking at my reflection in the dark screen ahead of me.
I did go to the gym last night, and I worked out on the elliptical for 2 miles and then headed home. I got stuck at work until 5:30 and it was almost 6:30 by the time I got home and changed. It makes for an extremely short evening if I work out all night long.
And tonight, I probably won’t get to the gym at all. Well, my roomy’s dog got sick about a week ago and ended up needing surgery. She hasn’t really been the same since; the pup, not my roomy. This morning, the poor dog was throwing up and it really made my roomy nervous. So, being the wonderful puppy parent that she is, she took Daisy to the vet and they kept her for observation for the day. After work, which takes an hour to get home from, I have to go home and let Lucy and her other pup out and then make it to the vet before 7… The vet is only about a 10 minute drive from my house, and I don’t anticipate any problems between here and there, but time crunches make me nervous. Why doesn’t roomy take care of it? She has to work late, and I consider myself to be a good friend. That’s why!
My hope for this evening is to at least take Lucy for a run around the neighborhood. We are planning for the Humane Society Fast and Furriest race on Sunday morning. No guarantees, because they are calling for rain for the next 10 DAYS!! And Lucy, she won’t even go out to pee in the rain… she won’t have any part of it. At all.
Plus, I want to try out my new shoes on the road. I tried Sauconys, but they really hurt my feet. Then I tried a pair of Asics and am now onto my second pair. The first pair I primarily use at the gym, the second pair I want to run and do whatever in (they look super cool!) Only running will tell though.
Let’s just hope that I remember to look into the C25K tonight for download…
Everything I have read about running, the writers are always argues against wearing anything in your ears while you run. Their argument is that if you are busy listening to an iPod or its equivalent, you may not hear something that could potentially be important; such as sirens, other runners, or anything at all.
I listen to my iPod at the gym, only because watching the TV while I am busy having a seizure on the elliptical or treadmill makes me motion sick… So, I made a rockin workout play list and jam out to that. And I usually have the volume all the way up. What? It drowns out the machine noises and other gym sounds that can get loud. Plus, I am always looking around, because I get bored looking at my reflection in the dark screen ahead of me.
I did go to the gym last night, and I worked out on the elliptical for 2 miles and then headed home. I got stuck at work until 5:30 and it was almost 6:30 by the time I got home and changed. It makes for an extremely short evening if I work out all night long.
And tonight, I probably won’t get to the gym at all. Well, my roomy’s dog got sick about a week ago and ended up needing surgery. She hasn’t really been the same since; the pup, not my roomy. This morning, the poor dog was throwing up and it really made my roomy nervous. So, being the wonderful puppy parent that she is, she took Daisy to the vet and they kept her for observation for the day. After work, which takes an hour to get home from, I have to go home and let Lucy and her other pup out and then make it to the vet before 7… The vet is only about a 10 minute drive from my house, and I don’t anticipate any problems between here and there, but time crunches make me nervous. Why doesn’t roomy take care of it? She has to work late, and I consider myself to be a good friend. That’s why!
My hope for this evening is to at least take Lucy for a run around the neighborhood. We are planning for the Humane Society Fast and Furriest race on Sunday morning. No guarantees, because they are calling for rain for the next 10 DAYS!! And Lucy, she won’t even go out to pee in the rain… she won’t have any part of it. At all.
Plus, I want to try out my new shoes on the road. I tried Sauconys, but they really hurt my feet. Then I tried a pair of Asics and am now onto my second pair. The first pair I primarily use at the gym, the second pair I want to run and do whatever in (they look super cool!) Only running will tell though.
Let’s just hope that I remember to look into the C25K tonight for download…
Monday, April 19, 2010
One More Time!
It sure has been a while… and you all are probably wondering what happened, right? Well, I lost my motivation last week. I went to the gym one time. I don’t know what happened, I just felt so run down and unable to function.
BUT
I have decided to start over. Starting over with everything! I am starting the first 2 weeks of my diet again, hoping that helps me. And I am also going to look into some new eating plans that I have heard about recently.
I am also going to work on getting over my stupid fear of the gym. I am always afraid that people are looking at me while I mind my own business and work out. To be honest, people probably are looking at me just as much as I look at them… which is hardly ever. I need to lift, and I bought a book to help me with different lifts to try out. Plus, I need to get over my fear of the weight machines too. I don’t know how to use them, but nothing is stopping from asking except for me… I really get in my own way most of the time.
So, here we go again… trying to get myself in some kind of shape. I will say this though, I feel better now than I did a year ago. I just wish I didn’t have so much going on. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. I have to get up so early for work, be there for almost 12 hours, then come home and be expected to get in a good workout, get some food, do the normal stuff a person does when they get home in the evenings, and still function the next day.
Enough with the excuses, though. It’s time for me to tell everyone and everything telling me that I can’t that I can!
Here’s to another try!
BUT
I have decided to start over. Starting over with everything! I am starting the first 2 weeks of my diet again, hoping that helps me. And I am also going to look into some new eating plans that I have heard about recently.
I am also going to work on getting over my stupid fear of the gym. I am always afraid that people are looking at me while I mind my own business and work out. To be honest, people probably are looking at me just as much as I look at them… which is hardly ever. I need to lift, and I bought a book to help me with different lifts to try out. Plus, I need to get over my fear of the weight machines too. I don’t know how to use them, but nothing is stopping from asking except for me… I really get in my own way most of the time.
So, here we go again… trying to get myself in some kind of shape. I will say this though, I feel better now than I did a year ago. I just wish I didn’t have so much going on. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. I have to get up so early for work, be there for almost 12 hours, then come home and be expected to get in a good workout, get some food, do the normal stuff a person does when they get home in the evenings, and still function the next day.
Enough with the excuses, though. It’s time for me to tell everyone and everything telling me that I can’t that I can!
Here’s to another try!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Ah... Friday!
I have been doing my research about what I should be doing, workout wise. And everything says “work to you feel the lactic acid build up” but nothing says what that should feel like. Is it “the burn”? Maybe I am crazy, but I sure don’t understand…
I was thinking about taking tonight off. My roomy is sick, I usually go out to a karaoke night on Fridays, and I have a seriously busy weekend ahead of me. At the same time, I almost feel bad for taking tonight off. I don’t know why. No one is telling me I “have” to go. I know, from my own experience, if something goes from a “want to” to a “have to” I won’t enjoy it anymore and will start to loathe it. This is why I only enjoy things I am good at… no “have to” practice! Just kidding.
I know I will be at the gym tomorrow morning, for sure. See, Lucy has a groomer appointment at 8 which is right down from my gym. Might as well take advantage of being awake at 8 AM!! On the weekend!! Plus, Saturday is a full day for me; I don’t know when I would be able to get it in later in the day.
I am possibly running the U City 10 & 2 in St Louis Sunday morning. It is all going to depend on how the weather is. We had been having great spring weather… and then all of the sudden WHAM!! Cold air again. This makes me sad. It’s supposed to be cold and rainy, which should be read “Catch a cold air” I am not willing to take any chances with my health. I am going to try to find the time tomorrow to at least go get my t-shirt that I already paid for! (That’s terrible isn’t it?)
Got Ironman on my brain today for some reason… Usually I think about training during the day, but today I am really wishing that I could find coverage online to watch or something, you know? Ah, well, this will have to suffice for now! Have a great weekend!!
I was thinking about taking tonight off. My roomy is sick, I usually go out to a karaoke night on Fridays, and I have a seriously busy weekend ahead of me. At the same time, I almost feel bad for taking tonight off. I don’t know why. No one is telling me I “have” to go. I know, from my own experience, if something goes from a “want to” to a “have to” I won’t enjoy it anymore and will start to loathe it. This is why I only enjoy things I am good at… no “have to” practice! Just kidding.
I know I will be at the gym tomorrow morning, for sure. See, Lucy has a groomer appointment at 8 which is right down from my gym. Might as well take advantage of being awake at 8 AM!! On the weekend!! Plus, Saturday is a full day for me; I don’t know when I would be able to get it in later in the day.
I am possibly running the U City 10 & 2 in St Louis Sunday morning. It is all going to depend on how the weather is. We had been having great spring weather… and then all of the sudden WHAM!! Cold air again. This makes me sad. It’s supposed to be cold and rainy, which should be read “Catch a cold air” I am not willing to take any chances with my health. I am going to try to find the time tomorrow to at least go get my t-shirt that I already paid for! (That’s terrible isn’t it?)
Got Ironman on my brain today for some reason… Usually I think about training during the day, but today I am really wishing that I could find coverage online to watch or something, you know? Ah, well, this will have to suffice for now! Have a great weekend!!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Last night was the third night in a row this week I have been at the gym. And each night I have been doing 2 miles on the elliptical and then spending about 10 or 15 minutes lifting. Last night I only did the elliptical, though. Usually I get on a machine that doesn’t have the arms, but last night I decided to try it out. I don’t think I am coordinated enough for that, and I don’t understand how it works your arms and maybe I am doing it wrong. But when I hang on with my hands, it feels like I slow myself down…
I ended up not using the arms much last night. But I love where the stationary handles are on those machines. I felt more balanced holding on there than on the other machines. Either way though, my hands are really hurting me today. Was I hanging on too tight? I try to remember to keep breathing, breathe deep, and keep a loose grip. My shoulders feel really tight if I grip too tight, and I am pretty sure that’s not how it’s supposed to work.
I am just hoping that my skin goes back to where it should be. My arms and legs, for the most part, have been particularly muscular. I carry all of my fat on my belly. I hate it. That’s why I always wear a compression shirt at the gym. It keeps not only my belly, but my girls in place while I am moving. I don’t want to get a black eye while I am working out, so I do my best to at least keep the girls in place. I can’t even do a full sit up. I doubt I do my cruncher properly, so how do I make this go away?
I had thought about trying some workout ball exercises, but I don’t know which ones to do. I have already read that a BOSU ball could help. I just wish working out was as fun as this.
Hopefully I will figure it out.
I ended up not using the arms much last night. But I love where the stationary handles are on those machines. I felt more balanced holding on there than on the other machines. Either way though, my hands are really hurting me today. Was I hanging on too tight? I try to remember to keep breathing, breathe deep, and keep a loose grip. My shoulders feel really tight if I grip too tight, and I am pretty sure that’s not how it’s supposed to work.
I am just hoping that my skin goes back to where it should be. My arms and legs, for the most part, have been particularly muscular. I carry all of my fat on my belly. I hate it. That’s why I always wear a compression shirt at the gym. It keeps not only my belly, but my girls in place while I am moving. I don’t want to get a black eye while I am working out, so I do my best to at least keep the girls in place. I can’t even do a full sit up. I doubt I do my cruncher properly, so how do I make this go away?
I had thought about trying some workout ball exercises, but I don’t know which ones to do. I have already read that a BOSU ball could help. I just wish working out was as fun as this.
Hopefully I will figure it out.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I can, can you?
Something that many people don’t know about me is that when I started college, I began as a music performance major; emphasis on vocal music. Kind of weird when you think about the fact that I ended up with a diploma in Business Administration and now work in the payroll/HR industry…
I have a love for music, I always have. According to my parents, I could sing before I could talk… This should explain the 1000’s of songs on my computer. I can’t remember how many days worth of music I have, but it’s plenty. And for all occasions too! I love all music, yes even opera. In fact, one of my courses in college was vocal operatic instruction. I learned how to hit a high C without my head exploding. It’s really simple once you have the technique down.
Why all this talk about music? Well, I made a play list on my iPod specifically for the gym; its mainly upbeat music. I didn’t have long to put a play list together, but from all of my music I have 166 songs on my play list. If I had to only choose one song to consider my absolute favorite, I would have to say (I) can can (you?) performed by Vanessa Mae. It’s awesome! And for some reason, when it comes on, I suddenly enjoy whatever it is I am doing when it starts.
I don't know if that would be a good thing or a bad thing that it gets me pumped up, but it really does! The music starts and I forget that I am working out. I forget that I am standing on an eliptical trainer, which by the way is actually really fun.
When I worked out before, I would plug my ear bugs into the tv on the machine and watch the tube, I never felt like I had a decent workout. Now, I find the movement slightly distracting. Almost makes me motion sick actually. That's really crazy, huh? I can't even read in the car anymore thanks to feeling sick. That really made for a really boring 11 hour ride to Mississippi this summer...
What is your "get moving" music? I would love to find other music to get moving to!
I have a love for music, I always have. According to my parents, I could sing before I could talk… This should explain the 1000’s of songs on my computer. I can’t remember how many days worth of music I have, but it’s plenty. And for all occasions too! I love all music, yes even opera. In fact, one of my courses in college was vocal operatic instruction. I learned how to hit a high C without my head exploding. It’s really simple once you have the technique down.
Why all this talk about music? Well, I made a play list on my iPod specifically for the gym; its mainly upbeat music. I didn’t have long to put a play list together, but from all of my music I have 166 songs on my play list. If I had to only choose one song to consider my absolute favorite, I would have to say (I) can can (you?) performed by Vanessa Mae. It’s awesome! And for some reason, when it comes on, I suddenly enjoy whatever it is I am doing when it starts.
I don't know if that would be a good thing or a bad thing that it gets me pumped up, but it really does! The music starts and I forget that I am working out. I forget that I am standing on an eliptical trainer, which by the way is actually really fun.
When I worked out before, I would plug my ear bugs into the tv on the machine and watch the tube, I never felt like I had a decent workout. Now, I find the movement slightly distracting. Almost makes me motion sick actually. That's really crazy, huh? I can't even read in the car anymore thanks to feeling sick. That really made for a really boring 11 hour ride to Mississippi this summer...
What is your "get moving" music? I would love to find other music to get moving to!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
So, I worked out last night, and I worked out the night before. I actually feel great! I thought I would be hurting, but honestly it’s not that bad.
Tonight, my mom is making biscuits and gravy. She makes the best milk gravy. EVER! So, when she told me that’s what she was making for dinner, I asked what time dinner was. Seriously, her b&g is the absolute best! I told my roomy when I got home, her response was pretty close to mine. To make up for indulging in foods that I probably shouldn’t be, I am going to go for a run around mom’s neighborhood.
I looked it up on Google distance finder and from her house all the way around the neighborhood is a little over 1 mile. To make it interesting, I am going to take mom’s dog, Lizzie. Lizzie is a soft coated wheaten terrier. She looks like the dog from Fraggle Rock! But she is kind of rambunctious. She has been to Puppy College, and classes at PetsMart, but still has a little trouble here and there. She is taller than my Lucy, but Lucy outweighs her by about 10 pounds. Lucy is my baby. Don’t know what she is, but it doesn’t matter.
Lucy and I are going to “race” in the Humane Society of Missouri’s Fast and Furriest 1 mile run/walk. Lucy loves to go for walks, but doesn’t last too long. She walks around the block and gets close to home and then just sits down… and won’t budge. So, we have a lot to work on. She is the coolest dog ever! She found me, and it was a match made in puppy heaven for her. She obviously had been abused in her last home, which is so hard for me to understand. She is so sweet and incredibly smart, how could anyone ever hurt her?
See? This was taken the first night (after a day at the groomer to get her all cleaned up) at home with me.
Through my weight loss adventures, I have found that Lucy enjoys veggies! She also likes some fruits. She hasn’t quite figured out carrots if they aren’t cooked, but other than that, she loves them! When I cut up fresh veggies, her and my roomy’s girls (she has 2 minpins- daisy and piper) sit right at my feet. The minpins sometimes don’t like the veggies, but Lucy will eat just about anything… true story- she ate an entire pack of gum, wrappers and all. She doesn’t know this, but starting next week we are going to get training for the 1 mile. I would like for her to at least be able to walk it… without it hurting her.
I love the fact that the weather is changing now! I am planning a bike ride for this weekend :) hopefully to complete the entire loop around Edwardsville. Maybe one day, I will get the nerve to run the whole thing too! What a way to cross train. The trail is part of the Madison Country Trail way system. Basically, the county took out railway tracks that are no longer used and paved them. The loop cuts through SIUE, which is at the bottom of the bluff and goes all the way through downtown, which is on top of the bluff. It’s a nice climb, and would probably make for good training both on the bike and on foot.
Ah… well, I guess we will see if I wake up on Saturday morning with the drive and ambition to take it on.
Happy St. Patty’s Day! The closest thing to Christmas the Irish get!
Tonight, my mom is making biscuits and gravy. She makes the best milk gravy. EVER! So, when she told me that’s what she was making for dinner, I asked what time dinner was. Seriously, her b&g is the absolute best! I told my roomy when I got home, her response was pretty close to mine. To make up for indulging in foods that I probably shouldn’t be, I am going to go for a run around mom’s neighborhood.
I looked it up on Google distance finder and from her house all the way around the neighborhood is a little over 1 mile. To make it interesting, I am going to take mom’s dog, Lizzie. Lizzie is a soft coated wheaten terrier. She looks like the dog from Fraggle Rock! But she is kind of rambunctious. She has been to Puppy College, and classes at PetsMart, but still has a little trouble here and there. She is taller than my Lucy, but Lucy outweighs her by about 10 pounds. Lucy is my baby. Don’t know what she is, but it doesn’t matter.
Lucy and I are going to “race” in the Humane Society of Missouri’s Fast and Furriest 1 mile run/walk. Lucy loves to go for walks, but doesn’t last too long. She walks around the block and gets close to home and then just sits down… and won’t budge. So, we have a lot to work on. She is the coolest dog ever! She found me, and it was a match made in puppy heaven for her. She obviously had been abused in her last home, which is so hard for me to understand. She is so sweet and incredibly smart, how could anyone ever hurt her?
See? This was taken the first night (after a day at the groomer to get her all cleaned up) at home with me.
Through my weight loss adventures, I have found that Lucy enjoys veggies! She also likes some fruits. She hasn’t quite figured out carrots if they aren’t cooked, but other than that, she loves them! When I cut up fresh veggies, her and my roomy’s girls (she has 2 minpins- daisy and piper) sit right at my feet. The minpins sometimes don’t like the veggies, but Lucy will eat just about anything… true story- she ate an entire pack of gum, wrappers and all. She doesn’t know this, but starting next week we are going to get training for the 1 mile. I would like for her to at least be able to walk it… without it hurting her.
I love the fact that the weather is changing now! I am planning a bike ride for this weekend :) hopefully to complete the entire loop around Edwardsville. Maybe one day, I will get the nerve to run the whole thing too! What a way to cross train. The trail is part of the Madison Country Trail way system. Basically, the county took out railway tracks that are no longer used and paved them. The loop cuts through SIUE, which is at the bottom of the bluff and goes all the way through downtown, which is on top of the bluff. It’s a nice climb, and would probably make for good training both on the bike and on foot.
Ah… well, I guess we will see if I wake up on Saturday morning with the drive and ambition to take it on.
Happy St. Patty’s Day! The closest thing to Christmas the Irish get!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Spring is trying to spring...
Well, I sure can tell the weather is changing in this neck of the woods! It is FABULOUS! I spent the weekend grilling and catching up with friends. It was great! I can’t wait to do it again. I love my new gas grill! It looks so pretty on my back deck.
I didn’t work out at all this weekend, because I still felt a little aggravated with the whole gym thing. Why did I feel aggravated? Well, things aren’t going as planned. I had hoped that I would have dropped some weight and would feel stronger, and honestly I haven’t and I don’t. The numbers have not budged. My clothes don’t fit any more lose today than they did the last time I went shopping a month ago. I was told to eat more protein, yeah that didn’t work out so well for me. I would make it through training sessions, but that was about it.
So, what are my plans? Well, I have been reading a book. Triathlon training: from start to finish line. It talks about nutrition and workout plans. It has levels from couch potato to skilled ironman! This is going to be my first week following what the book is saying. Tonight is either a rest night, or weight training night. So, without my trainer (story to follow) and without the stress of feeling like I am being stared at (I never was to begin with) I will be walking the treadmill for 2 miles and then lifting weights.
Why without my trainer? Well, I only originally paid for 4 sessions to begin with and I lack the funds to continue working with her. No worries though, I can ask questions any time and I plan to stick to what my tri books tell me, I should be fine. It seems to be all about listening to my body and pushing just a bit harder, all of which I can do!
I am going to stick as close to the South Beach Diet as I can, which I was already doing until I was told to eat more protein… And I have done fairly well with no fast food. I have had it like 3 times since January 1, and let me tell you… I am not missing anything. I thought it was going to be the best meal ever, and it really wasn’t. I had a salad from taco bell, and it tasted like they spilled bleach on it. To be sure it was only my taste buds refusing to enjoy a plate full of crap; I had my roomy try it. She spat it out in the trash, asking if I was trying to kill her. No, I promise I wasn’t. I just wanted to be sure it really tasted bad or if it was just me… It apparently really tasted bad.
Get out the bikes, dust them off, and air up the tires! Why? Because the weather is beautiful outside and its go time!
Until next time…
I didn’t work out at all this weekend, because I still felt a little aggravated with the whole gym thing. Why did I feel aggravated? Well, things aren’t going as planned. I had hoped that I would have dropped some weight and would feel stronger, and honestly I haven’t and I don’t. The numbers have not budged. My clothes don’t fit any more lose today than they did the last time I went shopping a month ago. I was told to eat more protein, yeah that didn’t work out so well for me. I would make it through training sessions, but that was about it.
So, what are my plans? Well, I have been reading a book. Triathlon training: from start to finish line. It talks about nutrition and workout plans. It has levels from couch potato to skilled ironman! This is going to be my first week following what the book is saying. Tonight is either a rest night, or weight training night. So, without my trainer (story to follow) and without the stress of feeling like I am being stared at (I never was to begin with) I will be walking the treadmill for 2 miles and then lifting weights.
Why without my trainer? Well, I only originally paid for 4 sessions to begin with and I lack the funds to continue working with her. No worries though, I can ask questions any time and I plan to stick to what my tri books tell me, I should be fine. It seems to be all about listening to my body and pushing just a bit harder, all of which I can do!
I am going to stick as close to the South Beach Diet as I can, which I was already doing until I was told to eat more protein… And I have done fairly well with no fast food. I have had it like 3 times since January 1, and let me tell you… I am not missing anything. I thought it was going to be the best meal ever, and it really wasn’t. I had a salad from taco bell, and it tasted like they spilled bleach on it. To be sure it was only my taste buds refusing to enjoy a plate full of crap; I had my roomy try it. She spat it out in the trash, asking if I was trying to kill her. No, I promise I wasn’t. I just wanted to be sure it really tasted bad or if it was just me… It apparently really tasted bad.
Get out the bikes, dust them off, and air up the tires! Why? Because the weather is beautiful outside and its go time!
Until next time…
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Attitude Adjustment
I went to the gym last night and used an elliptical machine for 30 minutes, which totaled 2 miles!! Maybe it’s not that much for some, but it’s good for me!! I felt great when I got home. I really did. My leg muscles were tight but not aching, I was tired but not feeling beaten, and I don’t feel so crabby today!
I have noticed that if I get too hot, or too hungry, I get really crabby and have a seriously bad attitude. I also have realized that if I don’t get the exercise I feel I need, I get crabby. I think that is why I have been in such a bad mood lately. With traveling for work, working out has been pushed to the side for the last couple of weeks. I did use the hotel workout room, but it’s not the same.
I noticed something else about me last night. Instead of listening to the TV on the machine, I listened to my iPod. When the music started, I felt immediately energized!! I felt like doing the elliptical for 30 minutes was no big thing. And I noticed that when the tempo went up, I moved a little faster! I just wish I could figure out how to run on a treadmill. I am afraid I am going to fall. @MrsFatass, over at did I just eat that out loud, has the best example of how I feel I would run on a treadmill; Phoebe from Friends style. Check out her post… she included a video. It’s hilarious! And so true. I guess I will just have to bite the bullet and attempt to run. My biggest fear is falling. I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want to look like an idiot either.
So I guess what I have learned in the last 24 hours is that I need an attitude adjustment. If I have a bad day, go to the gym and work it out. And leave it all at the gym. Listen to music rather than watch the stupid TV (which I totally admit I am addicted to) to stay motivated, remember your goals and why you are doing this.
I have noticed that if I get too hot, or too hungry, I get really crabby and have a seriously bad attitude. I also have realized that if I don’t get the exercise I feel I need, I get crabby. I think that is why I have been in such a bad mood lately. With traveling for work, working out has been pushed to the side for the last couple of weeks. I did use the hotel workout room, but it’s not the same.
I noticed something else about me last night. Instead of listening to the TV on the machine, I listened to my iPod. When the music started, I felt immediately energized!! I felt like doing the elliptical for 30 minutes was no big thing. And I noticed that when the tempo went up, I moved a little faster! I just wish I could figure out how to run on a treadmill. I am afraid I am going to fall. @MrsFatass, over at did I just eat that out loud, has the best example of how I feel I would run on a treadmill; Phoebe from Friends style. Check out her post… she included a video. It’s hilarious! And so true. I guess I will just have to bite the bullet and attempt to run. My biggest fear is falling. I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want to look like an idiot either.
So I guess what I have learned in the last 24 hours is that I need an attitude adjustment. If I have a bad day, go to the gym and work it out. And leave it all at the gym. Listen to music rather than watch the stupid TV (which I totally admit I am addicted to) to stay motivated, remember your goals and why you are doing this.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Welcome Back!
It sure has been a while, and for that I apologize. I have been doing a lot of traveling for work, and it has really taken its toll on me. I went to Florida twice in 3 weeks! The sun was beautiful and refreshing. Just what I needed in the middle of a Midwestern winter that seems like it will never go away.
This sure has been a long year, and its only February. If you ask anyone who knows me well, they will tell you that I like things to happen NOW, not later. Well, these weight loss results are happening later. The numbers have not changed, not even a little bit. My size has, because my clothes seem to be getting larger. Shouldn’t I see numbers dropping?? I mean seriously. But!! I am not giving up, at least not yet. I told myself it would be hard, I told you it would be hard. I know what I am up against. This fat didn’t appear on me over night, it won’t disappear overnight either.
In other news, my friends and I went to a new bar in St. Louis. Well, it’s new to us. It’s a place called Bar5. We sang karaoke! It was awesomely fun. I had a blast! I don’t know what it is about karaoke, but I always seem to have fun doing that.
So, thanks to my friend Brian, I have become interested in bikes; as in bicycles. In about 2 week’s time, I went from having 1 mountain bike that I barely would ride to having 6 bikes in my garage at one time! Oh yes, 6 bikes. I kept my mountain bike, but am considering selling it. I bought a road bike to train on. I bought a Ross Beach Cruiser for my roomy, which is in pieces because I am in the process of getting it cleaned up for her. I bought a 1940 J.C. Higgins (Sears answer to a Schwinn) and then I ransacked my grandpa’s shed for a 1967 Schwinn Racer and my purple Murray Banana Seat bike!
When I told Brian about the racer, we arranged a trade. He LOVES vintage bikes, and has quite a collection. He traded me the racer for a Terranaut Allegro. I don’t know if it was even or not, but he hasn’t said anything so I assume it was pretty close. Its red and it bears the name of my works’ properties in Florida. Our senior living facilities are all “The Allegro at” and the name follows. I thought that was awesome! What a reason to trade a bike, huh?
Of course, it has been too stinking cold outside to ride ANY of them; let alone work on any of them out in the garage. Especially when I know that Lucy will want to sit out there with me. Lucy is my dog. She is the coolest dog ever! She doesn’t know it yet, but in April she is running a mile with me for the Fast and Furriest! Hopefully she can make it. I would take her for walks around the neighborhood. And when she got too tired, she would just sit down. I would keep walking, but she would sit there. I am not going to push her though. I will take her as far as she can go.
Speaking of races… This last Sunday was a race called Mud-N-Gutz. It was a 4k race that was complete with MUD and GUTZ!! Just kidding, it was supposed to be a course that had hay bales to jump and things like that. Sunday morning, I got woken up by a text message asking me to pick up my friends race info for her and her cousin, they slept in. Completely confused, I asked them what she was talking about. Yep, I totally forgot about the race! I signed up, and then started traveling for work and completely forgot all about it. I was so upset. I wanted to do it! But then I looked outside and saw that it was raining and icky, then I didn’t feel so bad. My friend ended up making the race, she even picked up my race t-shirt for me. There is always next year!
I think that pretty much covers what I have been up to… other than feeling bad for not working out as much I should have. But I blame plains and traveling on that. I did use the hotel workout room, but it’s not the same. Until next time!
This sure has been a long year, and its only February. If you ask anyone who knows me well, they will tell you that I like things to happen NOW, not later. Well, these weight loss results are happening later. The numbers have not changed, not even a little bit. My size has, because my clothes seem to be getting larger. Shouldn’t I see numbers dropping?? I mean seriously. But!! I am not giving up, at least not yet. I told myself it would be hard, I told you it would be hard. I know what I am up against. This fat didn’t appear on me over night, it won’t disappear overnight either.
In other news, my friends and I went to a new bar in St. Louis. Well, it’s new to us. It’s a place called Bar5. We sang karaoke! It was awesomely fun. I had a blast! I don’t know what it is about karaoke, but I always seem to have fun doing that.
So, thanks to my friend Brian, I have become interested in bikes; as in bicycles. In about 2 week’s time, I went from having 1 mountain bike that I barely would ride to having 6 bikes in my garage at one time! Oh yes, 6 bikes. I kept my mountain bike, but am considering selling it. I bought a road bike to train on. I bought a Ross Beach Cruiser for my roomy, which is in pieces because I am in the process of getting it cleaned up for her. I bought a 1940 J.C. Higgins (Sears answer to a Schwinn) and then I ransacked my grandpa’s shed for a 1967 Schwinn Racer and my purple Murray Banana Seat bike!
When I told Brian about the racer, we arranged a trade. He LOVES vintage bikes, and has quite a collection. He traded me the racer for a Terranaut Allegro. I don’t know if it was even or not, but he hasn’t said anything so I assume it was pretty close. Its red and it bears the name of my works’ properties in Florida. Our senior living facilities are all “The Allegro at” and the name follows. I thought that was awesome! What a reason to trade a bike, huh?
Of course, it has been too stinking cold outside to ride ANY of them; let alone work on any of them out in the garage. Especially when I know that Lucy will want to sit out there with me. Lucy is my dog. She is the coolest dog ever! She doesn’t know it yet, but in April she is running a mile with me for the Fast and Furriest! Hopefully she can make it. I would take her for walks around the neighborhood. And when she got too tired, she would just sit down. I would keep walking, but she would sit there. I am not going to push her though. I will take her as far as she can go.
Speaking of races… This last Sunday was a race called Mud-N-Gutz. It was a 4k race that was complete with MUD and GUTZ!! Just kidding, it was supposed to be a course that had hay bales to jump and things like that. Sunday morning, I got woken up by a text message asking me to pick up my friends race info for her and her cousin, they slept in. Completely confused, I asked them what she was talking about. Yep, I totally forgot about the race! I signed up, and then started traveling for work and completely forgot all about it. I was so upset. I wanted to do it! But then I looked outside and saw that it was raining and icky, then I didn’t feel so bad. My friend ended up making the race, she even picked up my race t-shirt for me. There is always next year!
I think that pretty much covers what I have been up to… other than feeling bad for not working out as much I should have. But I blame plains and traveling on that. I did use the hotel workout room, but it’s not the same. Until next time!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
I give up!
This is my confession… I almost fell off the wagon. I almost tried to give up on myself. Why? Because the scale isn’t moving; at least it doesn’t seem to be. And because of the lack of movement-out of the scale and out of myself- I feel terrible! I feel depressed, tired, and just not with “it”.
You know what a plant looks like when you don’t water it? It droops and looks sad, and almost lifeless if you leave it long enough. The leaves look tired and you know it is just not happy? That’s exactly what I feel like. I know I am not getting the nutrition that I need, I definitely know I am not getting the exercise I need, but I don’t feel motivated at the moment to change it.
Last night, by the time I got home from work and picking up my new barbeque grill, it was almost 8! At night!! So, what did I do for dinner? I had my roomy order pizza, again, for like the 3rd time since I have been home from my business trip. I got back last Thursday… I haven’t had that much pizza in such a short amount of time since, well… I can’t tell you because I don’t remember how long it’s been.
I need to remind myself of why I am doing this, so here is my list (I am a list maker-btw)
1 being fat sucks!
2 being fat hurts everywhere!
3 I don’t love or respect myself like I should- and that is not healthy!
4 I don’t want to die!
5 I want to be healthy!
I could elaborate more on each of those things, but I will let you come up with your own reasons for why I chose those things. What you come up with is probably just as good, if not exactly the same as my thought.
I wish I did feel motivated though. Just a month ago, I thought I was ready to run a 5k! A 5K! That is 3.1 miles of constant running. And though the 2 I have done so far, I didn’t run most of it, but I felt great when I finished! I felt like I had accomplished something. And when I did my strength test with my trainer, I did so much better than I thought I ever would! So what the hell is my problem??
I don’t even feel like cooking when I come home anymore. And I have fallen head over heels in love with cooking! I just feel like coming home and going to bed.
I guess this is my scream for motivation from you! What gets you going? What would you want me to tell you if you were in my position? At this point, I will even listen to not so nice screaming in my face, if it will help me move my fat ass…
You know what a plant looks like when you don’t water it? It droops and looks sad, and almost lifeless if you leave it long enough. The leaves look tired and you know it is just not happy? That’s exactly what I feel like. I know I am not getting the nutrition that I need, I definitely know I am not getting the exercise I need, but I don’t feel motivated at the moment to change it.
Last night, by the time I got home from work and picking up my new barbeque grill, it was almost 8! At night!! So, what did I do for dinner? I had my roomy order pizza, again, for like the 3rd time since I have been home from my business trip. I got back last Thursday… I haven’t had that much pizza in such a short amount of time since, well… I can’t tell you because I don’t remember how long it’s been.
I need to remind myself of why I am doing this, so here is my list (I am a list maker-btw)
1 being fat sucks!
2 being fat hurts everywhere!
3 I don’t love or respect myself like I should- and that is not healthy!
4 I don’t want to die!
5 I want to be healthy!
I could elaborate more on each of those things, but I will let you come up with your own reasons for why I chose those things. What you come up with is probably just as good, if not exactly the same as my thought.
I wish I did feel motivated though. Just a month ago, I thought I was ready to run a 5k! A 5K! That is 3.1 miles of constant running. And though the 2 I have done so far, I didn’t run most of it, but I felt great when I finished! I felt like I had accomplished something. And when I did my strength test with my trainer, I did so much better than I thought I ever would! So what the hell is my problem??
I don’t even feel like cooking when I come home anymore. And I have fallen head over heels in love with cooking! I just feel like coming home and going to bed.
I guess this is my scream for motivation from you! What gets you going? What would you want me to tell you if you were in my position? At this point, I will even listen to not so nice screaming in my face, if it will help me move my fat ass…
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Update from Traveling...
Please forgive me, but it certainly has been a while, hasn’t it? I have been traveling for work, and haven’t had much of a chance to update my blog. That makes me sad.
Nothing new to report, except that traveling and trying to lose weight is not really an easy thing to do. But I have been trying my best. And my best is all I can ask for.
I can tell my body is changing due to working out, but honestly I don’t think there have been any changes in the actual weight department. I can tell by being able to buy clothes that are a size smaller, and I do feel much better than I did before I started working out. I just hope there are some changes in the weight. My trainer advised not to get on a scale too often, because it will get discouraging if I don’t see changes in my weight. So, I am going to trust what she said and staying off.
Hope everyone has a great week!
Nothing new to report, except that traveling and trying to lose weight is not really an easy thing to do. But I have been trying my best. And my best is all I can ask for.
I can tell my body is changing due to working out, but honestly I don’t think there have been any changes in the actual weight department. I can tell by being able to buy clothes that are a size smaller, and I do feel much better than I did before I started working out. I just hope there are some changes in the weight. My trainer advised not to get on a scale too often, because it will get discouraging if I don’t see changes in my weight. So, I am going to trust what she said and staying off.
Hope everyone has a great week!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Is this week over yet?
I know I know… it’s been a couple days since I have posted anything. And I won’t make any excuses; I just haven’t felt like it. But it doesn’t help when all I have been doing is watching my eating habits a bit closer, and worked out. Same boring stuff, so why write about it? But then I think someone may need to see that it’s the same stuff over and over some times.
Well, honestly, not much has happened since last Friday… I deep cleaned my bedroom and got rid of literally a car load of stuff. I moved into my house 2 years ago in May, and some of the stuff I got rid of hadn’t been moved or touched since the day I moved in.
I also went shopping and bought new curtains for my room (again 2 years, and not a curtain in my house, except the coffee ones in the kitchen…) and a really cool rug. But my favorite purchase of the whole weekend was 4 shirts that I bought at Macy’s. Not only where they all on sale, but… THEY WERE EACH A SIZE SMALLER THAN WHAT I NORMALLY BUY!!!!
Before I started this diet, I was wearing a size 22-24 shirt or 2XL. Well, I tried on each shirt in a 2XL and asked my roommate what she thought. She thought they were too big, so she went and found 1 of each in a 1XL. They looked pretty good on me. Not perfect, but still wearable without them looking too small. They fit and I was ecstatic! They were even easy on the bank, which was fantabulous! What I don’t understand is the different between XL and 1XL… is there really a difference? I mean, really?
In training news, I am sorry to say that I did not get a workout in Friday through Monday. Why? Well, Thursday night, I went to the gym and only worked out for about 30 minutes. I just wasn’t feeling it. I felt sluggish, and almost hurt everywhere, if that makes any sense. So I told my workout buddy that I wasn’t feeling well, went and got sushi, and went home. Friday, I cleaned until almost 1 in the morning, which was a workout in itself. Saturday, got up and took everything I was getting rid of to Goodwill then headed to the mall. The mall trip should be considered a workout, it was packed! Dodging people should be an Olympic sport! (They are starting up soon! Yeah!) And while we were there, I started to get a really bad headache. So bad, that it ruined my evening plans of catching up with my friends from Riley’s. Riley’s was my first venture into the coffee business, and they are very dear friends- even though we haven’t seen each other in years! Sunday will always be my rest day, no matter what. Usually on Sundays, I stay in my jammies. But since my headache was only getting worse, I had to push my grocery/Wal-mart trip back one day.
I used my list of good foods from my trainer, and made my grocery list before I went. And I even made sure to eat so I wasn’t hungry. I didn’t go too crazy, since I will be traveling for work next week. But I did make sure I stocked up for my roomy. I usually cook for us, since I have the limited diet.
Last night was my first actual training session with my trainer. I was doing well, in my mind… until we did leg lifts on the floor. I don’t know if I was pushing myself too hard or what, but when I sat up and got up, I felt a little dizzy. I thought it would go away, so I shook it off. My trainer asked me if I ate anything before I came in, which I did. I ate yogurt, which is the wrong thing… She put me on a treadmill and from there it’s a bit hazy… She asked me if I felt dizzy, I told her yes. She pulled me off and led me to a chair. I felt really nauseas and the next thing I knew, I was puking in the bathroom. I felt like such an idiot. I can’t believe it! And the funny thing is, my trainer was not screaming at me to push or anything, I was doing all the pushing and forcing… I just pushed too hard, I guess.
So, now with a protein bar in my bag, I am going back tonight. And this time, there will be no getting sick. I will push through. I will finish! Take that, FAT!
Gosh, this is getting long… sorry. The moral of the workout story is, make sure you eat; and eat plenty. Make sure you eat the right things when you are supposed to, and make sure that if you are planning to workout, eat something that will stick in your stomach!
Until next time…
Well, honestly, not much has happened since last Friday… I deep cleaned my bedroom and got rid of literally a car load of stuff. I moved into my house 2 years ago in May, and some of the stuff I got rid of hadn’t been moved or touched since the day I moved in.
I also went shopping and bought new curtains for my room (again 2 years, and not a curtain in my house, except the coffee ones in the kitchen…) and a really cool rug. But my favorite purchase of the whole weekend was 4 shirts that I bought at Macy’s. Not only where they all on sale, but… THEY WERE EACH A SIZE SMALLER THAN WHAT I NORMALLY BUY!!!!
Before I started this diet, I was wearing a size 22-24 shirt or 2XL. Well, I tried on each shirt in a 2XL and asked my roommate what she thought. She thought they were too big, so she went and found 1 of each in a 1XL. They looked pretty good on me. Not perfect, but still wearable without them looking too small. They fit and I was ecstatic! They were even easy on the bank, which was fantabulous! What I don’t understand is the different between XL and 1XL… is there really a difference? I mean, really?
In training news, I am sorry to say that I did not get a workout in Friday through Monday. Why? Well, Thursday night, I went to the gym and only worked out for about 30 minutes. I just wasn’t feeling it. I felt sluggish, and almost hurt everywhere, if that makes any sense. So I told my workout buddy that I wasn’t feeling well, went and got sushi, and went home. Friday, I cleaned until almost 1 in the morning, which was a workout in itself. Saturday, got up and took everything I was getting rid of to Goodwill then headed to the mall. The mall trip should be considered a workout, it was packed! Dodging people should be an Olympic sport! (They are starting up soon! Yeah!) And while we were there, I started to get a really bad headache. So bad, that it ruined my evening plans of catching up with my friends from Riley’s. Riley’s was my first venture into the coffee business, and they are very dear friends- even though we haven’t seen each other in years! Sunday will always be my rest day, no matter what. Usually on Sundays, I stay in my jammies. But since my headache was only getting worse, I had to push my grocery/Wal-mart trip back one day.
I used my list of good foods from my trainer, and made my grocery list before I went. And I even made sure to eat so I wasn’t hungry. I didn’t go too crazy, since I will be traveling for work next week. But I did make sure I stocked up for my roomy. I usually cook for us, since I have the limited diet.
Last night was my first actual training session with my trainer. I was doing well, in my mind… until we did leg lifts on the floor. I don’t know if I was pushing myself too hard or what, but when I sat up and got up, I felt a little dizzy. I thought it would go away, so I shook it off. My trainer asked me if I ate anything before I came in, which I did. I ate yogurt, which is the wrong thing… She put me on a treadmill and from there it’s a bit hazy… She asked me if I felt dizzy, I told her yes. She pulled me off and led me to a chair. I felt really nauseas and the next thing I knew, I was puking in the bathroom. I felt like such an idiot. I can’t believe it! And the funny thing is, my trainer was not screaming at me to push or anything, I was doing all the pushing and forcing… I just pushed too hard, I guess.
So, now with a protein bar in my bag, I am going back tonight. And this time, there will be no getting sick. I will push through. I will finish! Take that, FAT!
Gosh, this is getting long… sorry. The moral of the workout story is, make sure you eat; and eat plenty. Make sure you eat the right things when you are supposed to, and make sure that if you are planning to workout, eat something that will stick in your stomach!
Until next time…
Friday, January 22, 2010
Working Out!
Ok, so I never in a million years thought I would hurt this bad after training and working out. I met with my trainer on Wednesday night, and she is totally awesome! I was afraid that I would feel awkward with being such a fat kid, but it really wasn’t that bad… I promise!
We talked about why I was there, my goals, and my eating habits. She hates the word diet almost as much as I do. We took my weight, and with my workout clothes on and my gym shoes (yes, I have a pair of shoes that are only worn at the gym) the number was 251. I figured the scale at home was off, but I am usually in less clothing when I weigh in at home… We took my measurements, which I was too embarrassed to see what numbers she wrote down. And she had me squeeze this little box thing and it scanned my insides to tell me my fat to muscle ratio and my BMI.
Now, I am no dummy. I know I carry a lot of fat on my body, but I could have cried when we looked at the number. To actually see that number, it was crushing. It was confirmation to me that my decision of losing weight and being healthy is the best I have ever made. But, damn that number was high. Since I am attempting to bare my soul to hopefully change a life or two, my body is… 43% fat. That’s far from good, like way far! But this number should encourage me to keep going, and it has. I don’t want to be 43% fat ever again.
So what did my trainer and I do? Well, she wanted to see how far I could do things, and I guess I never realized the things I could do, if provoked. She had me do pull ups, but they were modified. Rather than hang from a bar, my feet were still on the floor but I was leaning back at an angle. This kept me from using my legs to push me up, and I think I did 22 of them. I tried not to count, only because I knew that if the number was low, I would get discouraged. I did like 15 modified pushups, which I never figured was ever possible!! No sit ups though, but 16 crunchers. Then I had to do crunchers but push a bar with 5 pounds on each side up 6 inches, which was tough. I did lunges and squats, and those weren’t too bad. On top of that, I had been walking for at least 30 minutes using the weight loss program on the treadmill every night since Monday. Let me just say, my eating has been under control because my arms don’t even want to lift the fork to my mouth!
I.HURT.EVERYWHERE! And at the same time, I feel great! I didn’t know I could do all of those things. And now that I know what I can do, even if I can only do one more than last time it’s an improvement! I love improvements! I am making changes in my life by leaps and bounds! And Christy, if you are reading this, you rock my socks! Thanks for the motivation!! I used muscles the other night I didn't even know I had!
We talked about why I was there, my goals, and my eating habits. She hates the word diet almost as much as I do. We took my weight, and with my workout clothes on and my gym shoes (yes, I have a pair of shoes that are only worn at the gym) the number was 251. I figured the scale at home was off, but I am usually in less clothing when I weigh in at home… We took my measurements, which I was too embarrassed to see what numbers she wrote down. And she had me squeeze this little box thing and it scanned my insides to tell me my fat to muscle ratio and my BMI.
Now, I am no dummy. I know I carry a lot of fat on my body, but I could have cried when we looked at the number. To actually see that number, it was crushing. It was confirmation to me that my decision of losing weight and being healthy is the best I have ever made. But, damn that number was high. Since I am attempting to bare my soul to hopefully change a life or two, my body is… 43% fat. That’s far from good, like way far! But this number should encourage me to keep going, and it has. I don’t want to be 43% fat ever again.
So what did my trainer and I do? Well, she wanted to see how far I could do things, and I guess I never realized the things I could do, if provoked. She had me do pull ups, but they were modified. Rather than hang from a bar, my feet were still on the floor but I was leaning back at an angle. This kept me from using my legs to push me up, and I think I did 22 of them. I tried not to count, only because I knew that if the number was low, I would get discouraged. I did like 15 modified pushups, which I never figured was ever possible!! No sit ups though, but 16 crunchers. Then I had to do crunchers but push a bar with 5 pounds on each side up 6 inches, which was tough. I did lunges and squats, and those weren’t too bad. On top of that, I had been walking for at least 30 minutes using the weight loss program on the treadmill every night since Monday. Let me just say, my eating has been under control because my arms don’t even want to lift the fork to my mouth!
I.HURT.EVERYWHERE! And at the same time, I feel great! I didn’t know I could do all of those things. And now that I know what I can do, even if I can only do one more than last time it’s an improvement! I love improvements! I am making changes in my life by leaps and bounds! And Christy, if you are reading this, you rock my socks! Thanks for the motivation!! I used muscles the other night I didn't even know I had!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tuesdays with the Fat Kid
Well, I did it! I joined Club Fitness. And I have used that membership! I have gone twice now. So far, I love it. The people are very nice, and there is no pressure. Each machine has its own TV, so I took my ear buds and walked while I watched Rachel Ray. Along with my membership, I also bought 4 sessions with a personal trainer. I have the option of purchasing more sessions, but this is going to get me started.
Tonight we are meeting for the first time, and I am kind of nervous. I mean, I know she is there to help me and make sure I reach my goal in a safe and healthy manner. But I am nervous that she is going to push like Jillian. And maybe nervous isn’t the right word. I need to be pushed, I need to be motivated, and if that’s what it takes to get my butt in gear, then that’s exactly what I need.
I went last night and walked for 30 minutes using the treadmills weight loss option. It started out with a warm up and 20 minutes in I was walking at an 8 incline! I felt great!! My legs felt like Jell-o when I was done, but that went away after about a minute.
I know that results won’t be seen over night, but I am seriously considering finding pants that are a size smaller this weekend. My jeans are too big for me. I have been attempting to change my eating habits since August, and I have been doing really well, so maybe it is results- I honestly don’t know. But I hate shopping! Although, I found my favorite pair of jeans at Goodwill, so maybe I will hop over there and take a look. I can’t wait to lose the weight, but I really don’t want to buy new clothes every time I lose a size. So, I guess Goodwill and Craigslist will become my shopping for now. It’s weird, I know, but would really want to buy a new wardrobe every couple of months? I didn’t think so.
I signed up to be a part of the Bloggerhood of the Traveling Not So Fat Pants, which is a really neat internet project, started by Ex Hot Girl. Basically, a pair of pants is given to a member and that member keeps them for 2 months. In those 2 months, that person has to work on fitting into the size! Like, if you are currently wearing a size 10, you would get a size 8 for motivation to get into them! It seems really neat. It’s cool how us fat kids are trying to lose our skinny kids and helping each other in the process.
I am planning to go through my closet this weekend and get rid of stuff that is too big, keep a few things that are too small (for added motivation) and get rid of the rest. In my quest to become a better me, I also need to make things better around me. My room is a disaster, and I need to get that fixed. I also am going shopping for a new scale. Why? Well, the one in my room says one thing, the Wii Fit says another. Which one do I believe? If I believe the lower number, then one week it could be the Fit, the next it could be the scale in my room. I know, I should just use one, but it’s nice to see results…
Until next time!
Tonight we are meeting for the first time, and I am kind of nervous. I mean, I know she is there to help me and make sure I reach my goal in a safe and healthy manner. But I am nervous that she is going to push like Jillian. And maybe nervous isn’t the right word. I need to be pushed, I need to be motivated, and if that’s what it takes to get my butt in gear, then that’s exactly what I need.
I went last night and walked for 30 minutes using the treadmills weight loss option. It started out with a warm up and 20 minutes in I was walking at an 8 incline! I felt great!! My legs felt like Jell-o when I was done, but that went away after about a minute.
I know that results won’t be seen over night, but I am seriously considering finding pants that are a size smaller this weekend. My jeans are too big for me. I have been attempting to change my eating habits since August, and I have been doing really well, so maybe it is results- I honestly don’t know. But I hate shopping! Although, I found my favorite pair of jeans at Goodwill, so maybe I will hop over there and take a look. I can’t wait to lose the weight, but I really don’t want to buy new clothes every time I lose a size. So, I guess Goodwill and Craigslist will become my shopping for now. It’s weird, I know, but would really want to buy a new wardrobe every couple of months? I didn’t think so.
I signed up to be a part of the Bloggerhood of the Traveling Not So Fat Pants, which is a really neat internet project, started by Ex Hot Girl. Basically, a pair of pants is given to a member and that member keeps them for 2 months. In those 2 months, that person has to work on fitting into the size! Like, if you are currently wearing a size 10, you would get a size 8 for motivation to get into them! It seems really neat. It’s cool how us fat kids are trying to lose our skinny kids and helping each other in the process.
I am planning to go through my closet this weekend and get rid of stuff that is too big, keep a few things that are too small (for added motivation) and get rid of the rest. In my quest to become a better me, I also need to make things better around me. My room is a disaster, and I need to get that fixed. I also am going shopping for a new scale. Why? Well, the one in my room says one thing, the Wii Fit says another. Which one do I believe? If I believe the lower number, then one week it could be the Fit, the next it could be the scale in my room. I know, I should just use one, but it’s nice to see results…
Until next time!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Finding Myself
My motto for 2010 is this:
“We spend all this time looking for the right person, when what we should be doing is becoming the right person”
I don’t know who wrote that, I know it wasn’t me, so sorry I can’t site it properly. But I fully claim that I did not come up with it. Kudos to whoever did, because it makes perfect sense.
How many times have we all gone on dates, or even been in a relationship with someone who we think is “MR” or “MRS” Right? I think us fellow fat kids may have a tendency to let our self image sabotage our good things. They tell us we are beautiful and what is our immediate response? “Yeah, ok? Are you blind?” Or “you have to say that you are my boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife” or whatever other word you use for significant other.
I spend hours worrying about what other people think of me. Hell, I can’t even shop without experiencing a serious anxiety attack. I always think people are judging me for my weight. While I am busy looking for a top that doesn’t look like fabric from a couch straight out of 1940, other people are looking at me wondering how my fat ass made it through the door. When I suddenly realize that people are staring at me (which they probably really aren’t) I get extremely upset and leave. This is why I do not shop very often if at all. Except for shoes! A girl, no matter her size, can never have too many shoes. There is just no such thing!
And how many times have I put on an outfit and been told “that looks really good on you” but I change anyway? Countless! Don’t even get me started on not enjoying eating in front of people, even if it’s a small salad. And why do I do all of these things? Let me be honest, I do it because I am not the right person for ME. Meaning, I am not proud of my body. And everything else in my life suffers because of it. And until I start to love me, I will never find “the right person” to be with me. Does that make sense?
I want to love me before I try to let anyone else love me. I want to be comfortable with me for a change. I want to put on a new outfit and believe people when they say that it looks good. I want to stop feeling like people are judging me based on my food. And none of this will take place, in my mind, until I become the right person for myself. I am somewhere buried in this body, I promise. I was there once, but I got lost. I can hear the whispers of “you can!” and all the other good things my inner skinny kid is whispering (more like screaming) to get me there. I do think that it’s a little weird that the voice sounds a bit like Jillian Michaels though… (Yep, new role model!)
“Mr.” and “Mrs.” Right is in there, you just have to find them!
“We spend all this time looking for the right person, when what we should be doing is becoming the right person”
I don’t know who wrote that, I know it wasn’t me, so sorry I can’t site it properly. But I fully claim that I did not come up with it. Kudos to whoever did, because it makes perfect sense.
How many times have we all gone on dates, or even been in a relationship with someone who we think is “MR” or “MRS” Right? I think us fellow fat kids may have a tendency to let our self image sabotage our good things. They tell us we are beautiful and what is our immediate response? “Yeah, ok? Are you blind?” Or “you have to say that you are my boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife” or whatever other word you use for significant other.
I spend hours worrying about what other people think of me. Hell, I can’t even shop without experiencing a serious anxiety attack. I always think people are judging me for my weight. While I am busy looking for a top that doesn’t look like fabric from a couch straight out of 1940, other people are looking at me wondering how my fat ass made it through the door. When I suddenly realize that people are staring at me (which they probably really aren’t) I get extremely upset and leave. This is why I do not shop very often if at all. Except for shoes! A girl, no matter her size, can never have too many shoes. There is just no such thing!
And how many times have I put on an outfit and been told “that looks really good on you” but I change anyway? Countless! Don’t even get me started on not enjoying eating in front of people, even if it’s a small salad. And why do I do all of these things? Let me be honest, I do it because I am not the right person for ME. Meaning, I am not proud of my body. And everything else in my life suffers because of it. And until I start to love me, I will never find “the right person” to be with me. Does that make sense?
I want to love me before I try to let anyone else love me. I want to be comfortable with me for a change. I want to put on a new outfit and believe people when they say that it looks good. I want to stop feeling like people are judging me based on my food. And none of this will take place, in my mind, until I become the right person for myself. I am somewhere buried in this body, I promise. I was there once, but I got lost. I can hear the whispers of “you can!” and all the other good things my inner skinny kid is whispering (more like screaming) to get me there. I do think that it’s a little weird that the voice sounds a bit like Jillian Michaels though… (Yep, new role model!)
“Mr.” and “Mrs.” Right is in there, you just have to find them!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Oh Jillian...
Ok, I had heard about this DVD, but had never tried it. I was at Walmart last night with my mom, and decided I would look at it and you know, casually check it out. When I saw the price, I figured "what the heck? Might as well give it a shot, and if I don't like it, I can bring it back" I got home and decided I would watch it first to see what it was all about. Not participate, but just take a look. I was winded just sitting in my chair!
So, tonight after work, I tried it. I had my roommate get me a set of 3 pound hand weights (ya, you need those...) and when she got home with them, I started the DVD.
OH.MY.GOD!!!!!! I got a workout alright! This is tough. Not so tough that its uncomfortable, but as I sit here writing this, I sure can feel that something was worked. It was fun though. You keep moving the whole time and do intervals of strength training, cardio, and ab work. She does not let you rest, which is a good thing because you stay focused to finish! What I did not realize was how heavy 3 pounds really is, until you are having to control that weight over your head.
I had considered starting the DVD and not use hand weights, but I am glad that I did. It helps you use your muscles more to control the movement. BUT!! If you aren't used to doing the exercise, start with 3 pounds. I almost made the mistake of getting 5 pound weights, yeah, not a good idea. I liked the DVD, I urge you to try it if you want a workout that will leave you burning.
Now, my next task is to decide on which gym I want to join... Any suggestions? Why did you join where you joined?
I can feel the fat kid disappearing already!
Friday, January 8, 2010
Good Food and Cold Weather
So, being sick sort of has its perks. I mean, I got on the Wii Fit scale today and it said I was down a whole pound, but I have to wonder. Is it because I have been focusing on eating better? Or is because for the last 2 days the last thing I have felt like doing is eat?
I really didn't eat much, because my sinuses have hated me. I have been sleeping pretty much all the time. I still don't feel 100% but I am holding out hope.
I did, however, feel like cooking today for some reason. I don't know what possessed me, but I am assuming since its only 8 DEGREES (!!) I wanted something to eat that was filling and WARM!! So, I jumped over to one of my favorite sites, allrecipes.com and found this little gem. It was amazing! If you want to make something that takes almost no time to prep and only 4 short hours to cook in the slow cooker, try this. When we ate it, we did not need a knife to cut it up. And it was sooooo good (if I do say so myself).
Now, for what's on the rest of the plate... I steamed broccoli, carrots, and cauliflower (about 3 minutes in the microwave in a small pampered chef steamer) and a little bit of shredded sharp cheddar cheese. The little strips at the top of the plate are, are you ready for this, egg plant fries! I wasn't sure how they turned out, and I think they could have stayed in the oven a bit longer, but they were good anyway. I halved an eggplant, took the skin off and then sliced it to the size of fry I wanted. I put all the slices in a freezer bag with a couple glugs of olive oil (I don't measure by the way, sorry) a few shakes of salt, pepper, and garlic powder, and shook the bag for a bit. I preheated the oven to 450 degrees, then baked the fries for 8 minutes on each side. Next time, I will probably try to make the slices a bit smaller and bake them a few minutes longer.
So, thanks to Mother Nature, we got a couple inches of snow. And with the snow, I for some reason have had the worst time dealing with a sinus mung of some kind. I don't know if it is an infection or if my sinuses are just mad at the weather change or just what. I just know that I have not felt like doing anything except lay on my couch and snuggle under covers with a box of kleenex and my dog. So of course, I have not worked out at all. Unless you consider walking from couch to my bedroom exercise, which I really don't. I will say that the few days that I used the Jillian Michael's Wii game, I was sore. Maybe tomorrow I will get around to that review for you guys tomorrow...
OH! And if you haven't seen Julie and Julia I totally recommend it! But make sure you eat first... it seriously makes me hungry every time I watch it. It is such a good movie.
Until next time, stay warm...
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I Promise
Last night on Biggest Loser, they had the contestants do their first initial weigh-in in front of everyone they knew. None of them burst into tears until they were on the scale and their weight came up on the screen. I would have been in tears before I even stepped on the scale. I almost was by just thinking about how I would react if that were me.
I honestly hadn't been on a scale in years until I bought one last summer, which sat on my floor collecting dust. But I didn't need a scale to tell me I was a fat kid. I knew it. I have known since I was in high school, where my favorite saying was "hey, fat kids like food!"
I have always tried to make light, no pun intended, of the situation. I would call myself a fat kid before anyone else could. I have found that if you joke about you before someone can make fun of yourself before anyone else can, they usually won't. At least not to your face. I was always the heavy person in the group, which was fine, because, again, I made jokes about it. Sometimes I would get uncomfortable about it, but I always figured my friends loved me for who I was, weight and all.
But honestly, if I had to wear compression pants (at least that's what they look like on TV) and a sports bra and stand in front of my entire family and all of my friends, I would be a blubbering idiot before I got on the scale. I have no one to blame for my weight; no one but myself. My family never force fed me, and it't not their fault I didn't try to make a change sooner either. How can the skinny friend say to the fat friend "stop eating you damn pig"? It would ruin the friendship, even with the best intentions.
And what would I say? (each person said something after the weight came up) Would I apologize for letting everyone down? I doubt it, I haven't let anyone down. There were no standards to live up to; other than being myself. Would I apologize for letting myself get this way? Don't know. I am not sorry for anything I have done to get this fat. I enjoyed the family get togethers with all of the food, I enjoyed sitting around and drinking beer all day sitting on the boat rather than swimming in the lake, and I enjoyed the company that came with those things.
I hope that I would say that I promise to change. Not for them, but for myself. I know being 245 pounds is for from healthy. I know that the weight could kill me, and I don't want to put my family and friends through losing someone else way before they are supposed to. I would ask that they support me, help me, and encourage me. I would tell them not to blame themselves, they did nothing wrong. It's no one's fault that I enjoy food. I would remind them that it's not going to be easy for me, that I might want to give up, and that it might get tough- mentally and emotionally.
So, here it goes: I promise to start living up to my potential, to start living a lifestyle that is not going to hurt me or anyone else anymore, and to put my all into getting heathly. I promise to become a better friend, and family member by losing the weight and leading a healthy lifestyle. It's not going to be easy, I know this. But with your support, my life will change; maybe yours will to.
What would you say to everyone?
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
food and more...
Food is my weakness. All of it! I am willing to try things once, and if I like them, I continue to eat them. I love cookies, especially when my roommates mother makes THE sugar cookies! These cookies are absolutely to die for... and I did not even attempt to restrain myself over Christmas. I like pretty much anything, my problem is stopping.
I have no problems making dinner and then eating it all for myself. I think it might be a family curse, no one in my family knows how to cook for anything less than an army. And I have no problem eating enough for an army. Most of my friends in high school ate as much as I did, so I never felt like I was over eating or pigging out when my friends weren't. And my working out went as far as 7th hour PE and swing choir, which was no where near a Zumba class or training for a marathon.
I was never even force fed as a child or anything either. My parents never once played the "you will finish every bite on your plate before you move" game that I hear other parents have done in the past. If I ate, I ate. If I didnt, then I could eat something when I got hungry. There was always Mac-n-cheese in the pantry, Cokes in the fridge, and there was always McDonald's down the street.
Now, I have seen Supersize Me, and all it did for me was made me crave it even more. Which is sad, the documentary is supposed to turn you off of that! Or at least make you think about what you are eating. I on the other hand, would stop the movie and run through the drive thru.
This does not make me a bad person; it does not make me less than human than the next person struggling with weight. it just means that I have a bit more work to do. It seems that my generation was raised on Happy Meals and sugar filled sodas. This way of eating caused my gall bladder to fill with stones and have to be removed at the ripe old age of 25, which according to my surgeon is not normal.
I am no doctor, I do not have all the answers, but I know that I need to change. I need to train myself to eat better. Ronald the Clown is not going to magically change that Big Mac into something healthy anymore than Jillian Michaels is going to congratulate someone for being a quitter. Hell, she doesn't seem to let up even if a person is throwing up... Speaking of Jillian, I have her Wii game- Jillian Michaels' Fitness Ultimatum 2009. I may not be doing the exercises correctly, because the directions aren't quite clear, but I do feel like I have done some moving around. But I will do a better review of it a bit later.
It's not going to be easy, and I am well aware of that. In truth, it's going to be extremely hard, probably the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. But I am going to make it, I have to! I want to be able to run and not feel like my lungs are going to pop.
What do you want to do?
I have no problems making dinner and then eating it all for myself. I think it might be a family curse, no one in my family knows how to cook for anything less than an army. And I have no problem eating enough for an army. Most of my friends in high school ate as much as I did, so I never felt like I was over eating or pigging out when my friends weren't. And my working out went as far as 7th hour PE and swing choir, which was no where near a Zumba class or training for a marathon.
I was never even force fed as a child or anything either. My parents never once played the "you will finish every bite on your plate before you move" game that I hear other parents have done in the past. If I ate, I ate. If I didnt, then I could eat something when I got hungry. There was always Mac-n-cheese in the pantry, Cokes in the fridge, and there was always McDonald's down the street.
Now, I have seen Supersize Me, and all it did for me was made me crave it even more. Which is sad, the documentary is supposed to turn you off of that! Or at least make you think about what you are eating. I on the other hand, would stop the movie and run through the drive thru.
This does not make me a bad person; it does not make me less than human than the next person struggling with weight. it just means that I have a bit more work to do. It seems that my generation was raised on Happy Meals and sugar filled sodas. This way of eating caused my gall bladder to fill with stones and have to be removed at the ripe old age of 25, which according to my surgeon is not normal.
I am no doctor, I do not have all the answers, but I know that I need to change. I need to train myself to eat better. Ronald the Clown is not going to magically change that Big Mac into something healthy anymore than Jillian Michaels is going to congratulate someone for being a quitter. Hell, she doesn't seem to let up even if a person is throwing up... Speaking of Jillian, I have her Wii game- Jillian Michaels' Fitness Ultimatum 2009. I may not be doing the exercises correctly, because the directions aren't quite clear, but I do feel like I have done some moving around. But I will do a better review of it a bit later.
It's not going to be easy, and I am well aware of that. In truth, it's going to be extremely hard, probably the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. But I am going to make it, I have to! I want to be able to run and not feel like my lungs are going to pop.
What do you want to do?
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Too cold to move
Well, I hate to disappoint on the first day, but I didn't do the run this morning. Being in St. Louis, where the weather changes every 5 minutes, I figured it would be ok... I woke up to my alarm at 6:30 a.m. and looked out the window. The snow we had gotten last night was still there, but I could see the sidewalk so in my mind it had warmed up a little. I was totoally and completely wrong!! IT WAS 5 DEGREES OUTSIDE!!! As in 5 Degrees Farenheit!! I looked at my dog, who was still laying in my bed, and decided she had the right idea. She didn't even want to get up to go outside in that cold, why would I want to go run in that cold?!?!?!?! So, I did what comes natural, I went back to bed.
I didn't get in any kind of work out, but I did however do my level best to eat right! I made heart healthy waffles, on my new waffle iron that Santa brought me this year! For lunch I had a pear, a green apple, and a slice of mozzarella, colby, and cheddar cheese. I even shared a few bites with my roommate and our dogs. Key note, dogs don't really know what to do with a bite of apple... And for dinner, I was going to make lasagna, but seriously who waits for over an hour for dinner??? Exactly! So, I made some whole wheat penne pasta noodles and some spaghetti sauce. It was pretty good, and I even have some left over for tomorrow!
Tomorrow, my plan is to get up at a decent hour and try to get in some exercising. I have a few new things to try out, but will talk more about those later!! Have a good night and be safe!
I didn't get in any kind of work out, but I did however do my level best to eat right! I made heart healthy waffles, on my new waffle iron that Santa brought me this year! For lunch I had a pear, a green apple, and a slice of mozzarella, colby, and cheddar cheese. I even shared a few bites with my roommate and our dogs. Key note, dogs don't really know what to do with a bite of apple... And for dinner, I was going to make lasagna, but seriously who waits for over an hour for dinner??? Exactly! So, I made some whole wheat penne pasta noodles and some spaghetti sauce. It was pretty good, and I even have some left over for tomorrow!
Tomorrow, my plan is to get up at a decent hour and try to get in some exercising. I have a few new things to try out, but will talk more about those later!! Have a good night and be safe!
Friday, January 1, 2010
First Thing's First
This is me. Me=Shanna. I am using 2010 to change the things about me I am not happy with, and one of those things is my weight... I currently sit at 245 pounds. I hate it. So, I am changing it. At the age of 24, I had my first gall bladder attack. My surgeon said to me that part of the reason I was having that problem was because of my eating habits. They consisted of pretty much McDonalds, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut. When I would cook at home for myself, it consisted of Mac-n-cheese and frozen chicken nuggets... I hardly ever ate anything that was good for me. At all. I couldn't hardly walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like I was gasping for air, let alone clean my small 2 bedroom house without wanting to sit and rest for a bit.
2010, however, this will be different. I have made a few decisions on how I want to change my life, and my weight is one of those things. I want to start running, I want to start bike riding, and eventually learn to swim. Why? I would like to compete in a triathlon in the next 2 years. I would like to compete in an Ironman in the next 5 years. And to start, I am running in The First Annual Resolution Run in Troy.
I will post my time... as soon as I have one!
What are triathlons and Ironman? Triathlons are a Swim/Bike/Run competition. Triathlons come in all different distances, but standard distances consist of .93 mile swim/24.8 mile bike/6.2 mile run. The Ironman, however, is 2.4 mile swim/114 mile bike/26.2 run and all completed within 17 hours. This is the ultimate test of human ability, but I will write more about that later.
Which brings me to why I am keeping a blog. Well, basically I need something to keep me in check, and this is it. I like reading what other people do on their quest to keep in shape, lose weight, and even prepare for triathlons, why wouldn't people like to read about mine? I want to reach my goals, which I am trying to be realistic about. For example, tomorrow my only goal is to finish and not finish dead last. Time is really not important to me tomorrow. But next year, I want to beat the time I will set this year.
I plan to weigh in once a week, post pictures once a month, and tell my story as I trek along. I may even post a recipe or 2.
So, welcome to the show, and enjoy the ride.
Starting numbers:
Weight: 245 pounds
Bust: 47.5 inches
Waist: 51.5 inches
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