Motivation Tuesday

I know that technically yesterday was the start of the week, but it was a holiday.  Or in my world, an official part of the weekend!

Weekly Weigh-In...

Sleep has really been a rough thing for me this week.  Between my medicine making me feel horrible, being crazy busy at week, and my entire bottom half just aching - I haven't gotten much rest this week.

Thursday Thoughts

How is everyone's week?  Mine has been good, but I haven't made it to the gym a single day this week!  Why?  Because we are exactly 2 business days from our final BIG deadline at work!

Doctors, Med Updates, and Blood Works...

I went to the doctor on Friday, basically to check up on my PCOS and make sure nothing was going wrong... My weight is down, as we all know, but the doc wanted blood work.

A little bit of everything

First, let me just say... if you have NOT watched this video, you need to stop everything and go watch it.  Or scroll down to the bottom, I will post it too!

After throwing fits and feeling down, and even throwing myself a little pity party, I have now brushed myself off and gotten back up.  I must admit, this video helped me.  You can't possibly watch the Chewbacca Mom video without cracking up a little bit.

She says something very profound towards the end - "It's the simple joys!" and you know what?  She is absolutely right!

What do you find joy in?  What makes you laugh hysterically?  What brings you happiness?

I find that when things just don't feel right, and a nap isn't helping either, and I have eaten what I can and when I can, I find joy in working my technique or Muay Thai and Judo.

Even though I was feeling like crap last week, and just ready to quit, I didn't give up on myself.  I wanted to, but then I looked back at all of my posts and I looked at my food journal... I have come way to far to give up now.

And you have too!  Even if today is only day 2, you CANNOT give up just yet!  Eventually, it will be easier.  It won't feel like such a chore to be healthy.  Like a vlogger I follow said in one of his early posts "Time and Pressure.  Time and Pressure."  ShayCarl from ShayLoss.

When it gets hard, just find your joy.  Have a good laugh, drink some water, and get right back to it!

Today is the day to get started!!

I QUIT!! Not really, but that is how I feel today...

I was looking over my food journal from the last couple of days... it appears that my cheat day fell into Saturday, and even yesterday.

At least, that is how I feel.

Honestly, my calories went over on Sunday, but I don't really track that day to begin with.  Saturday and Monday, I was fine.  I am sure today I will be fine too!

Went over a bit on salt though.. so that's not good.

I have a doctor's appointment this Friday, and I am kind of nervous about it.  Mainly because I am working hard, eating SO.MUCH.BETTER, but the scale is not moving as fast as I would like it to.  Those couple of pounds I was excited about have come back on... I just don't understand!

Honestly, it makes me want to quit!  Why work this hard for no weight to be lost?  I already know "muscle weighs more than fat" and "I am losing inches" but am I really?  Mom and I measured Friday evening and our measurements went UP from what the doctor showed...  WHAT THE CRAP MAN?!?!?!

Normally, I would just chalk it up to being a beginner and it's going to take time for my body to lose the weight that has taken me years to put on... but this is just flat out DUMB!!  It is extremely discouraging, and I HATE it!

I blame the weather... it has been rainy and icky for days now.  This is how I know for sure I wouldn't ever survive in the PNW.  I need sunshine in my life!! This weather is making me extremely crabby...

I am half way considering doing away with a weekly cheat day, and turning it into a cheat meal on Sunday.  I have to do something...

I did the calculations and in order to lose 2 pounds per week, I should only eat 1200 calories a day.  I can do it, I have done it in the past, and as long as I eat tons of fruit and veggies I should be way more than ok.  It's just so hard... and I guess I am feeling discouraged because I am not seeing the results I should be.

I should be getting faster in Muay Thai... but I feel slower.  I should be getting stronger... I can barely do a push up.

Sorry to be Debbie Downer... but we all have days where we just want to quit.  Today is my day.

Here's hoping tomorrow is better!

North/South 2016 Judo Tournament

This weekend was the 32nd Annual North/South Judo Tournament.  It was held in Belleville, and 2 Judoka from my gym were competing.  I was so excited that there was a tournament close by, so of course I went to show support.

Being brand new to the sport, and not knowing what to expect, I was super nervous about going.  I am so glad I did!  First, besides Sensei Jeremy, Sensei "Peeps", and Gabby's dad, no one else from our gym was there to show support.

You all already got to meet Rowdy Reagan, but Gabby Ward was also there to compete!  She is currently a yellow belt from The Hit Squad.

Due to the division being so small, they did have to fight each other, and they did great!

They both were very sportsman like, and while Reagan won the match, they still congratulated each other and exchanged handshakes and hugs!  It was great to see!

Here they got to share the podium!  I was, and still am, extremely proud to call them teammates!

Gabby brought home 2 medals - Gold and Silver!!  And all with an injured knee!  She spent the day with ice on her knee, but when it came time to "go to work" she put the pain out of her mind and did what she needed to do!

Here are some more pictures from Saturday:

While the South did not beat the North, there is always next year!!  Reagan did get to compete on the team:

It was a great competition, and our team of 2 did great!  It really inspired me to do whatever it takes to be able to compete next year.  

After I got home from the tournament, it was UFC 198 time!  It was a great card, and Cris Cyborg's UFC Debut.  We all knew it, she wiped the mat with her opponent in like 80 seconds!!  WAY TO GO CYBORG!!

Other than that, nothing is new in my journey.  I keep working hard, eating on my plan, and drinking my water.

How are YOU doing???

Thoughts on a Thursday Night

Tonight was so much fun!  Judo was tonight. And amazing things happened tonight!!

Because I get there after the warm up, thanks to work and traffic in St. Louis, I have to do my own warm up.  Tonight, it was 3 laps around the mat.  Now, I just have to say... I am not a runner.  Never really have been.  Doubt I ever will be... but tonight, for the first time, I made it around the mat 3 times!  Without stopping!  And I didn't pop a lung!!!  MORE PROGRESS!

After I ran, it was time to learn.  Throw #4 - O Goshi (I believe) which is Hip Wheel.  Once I threw Sensei Jeremy a couple of times, he then threw me.  For the first time!  AND I LOVED IT!! I understand now why people "WEE!" threw the air!  It was so much fun!  I never thought that I would enjoy getting thrown.  But it was great!!

After being thrown a few times, we learned some choke techniques.  Then we worked on mat work.

With the 32nd North/South Judo Tournament coming up, Sensei had Reagan spar with us once she finished up coaching the littles.  Yes, even with me.  And after a little bit, I actually took her down!  Maybe she "let" me, maybe she didn't.  Only she will really know.  We both fell, tried to high five and MISSED terribly, and died laughing!  That's what I really enjoy about Judo.  It's fun, and so easy to start laughing!

What else can I say that I haven't already said?  Tonight was so much fun!  I never in a million years thought that I would be here:  Being thrown and enjoying it!  Running laps on the mat and not quitting!  Sparring and throwing a blue belt!

HUGE shout out to Sensei Jeremy for believing in me, especially when I very first started Judo, because I sure didn't.  I went into to class feeling very self conscience. uncoordinated, and unable to even tie my belt the proper way.  It's crazy to think how far I have come in such a short time.

Until tomorrow friends!!!

No Pain, No Gain; The Perils of Losing a Toenail vs. Losing Focus

First, let me apologize for the blog post coming so late.  It was a very busy day, and quite honestly... I was lacking a topic.

And then I went to Judo tonight...

I want to start off by stating that I will, in no way shape or form be complaining.  I learned quite a bit about myself tonight.

I got to Judo just in time to realize that we were working on technique, since most of our class is going to the North/South Judo Competition - More on this later.  I was NOT left out of those working.  I worked technique on the 3 throws that I know, my o soto gari needs work, but it will come in time.

We worked our Ne Waza - mat work.  Starting on our knees, we had to take the other down and either keep them there, or fight for guard.  I did pretty well, but I know I need to learn to protect my throat better.  No worries, I am fine.

This is where the possibility of losing focus could have come into play.  We started our group cardio workout.  It started with sprints from 1 end of the mat to the other, 5 sit ups at one end and 5 push ups at the other.  Eventually, we were changed from sprints to crab walk.  And this is where my lunch started to make its reappearance... I made it to a trash can, and didn't throw up much, mostly water, but enough that I threw up.  The cost of throwing up in a trash can in Judo - Changing the trash afterwards.

After pulling myself together, it would have been incredibly easy for me to sit down.  Or gather my things and leave (it was kind of embarrassing) Or run off to the locker room, and only come out after everyone had left for the evening.  But I didn't!  I took a few drinks of water, took some deep breathes, fixed my gi, and back to the mat I went.

I didn't jump right back in, as they were finishing up the runs.  Once they finished the last lap, we circled up and did what can only be called... the Circle of Death!

4 exercises - fast feet, mountain climbers, squats, and burpees.  All done as fast as possible, 1 at a time, for 20 seconds with 10 second "rest" in between.  Go through the set twice, and that's 1 round.  We did it twice.

Now, I can't do mountain climbers - so I held plank positions on my hands.  I didn't quit!  I can't do burpees - so I held a plank position on my arms.  I didn't quit!

While I was doing these reps, I kind of went into my own little world... I started thinking about all of the people who told me I couldn't do something.  I started thinking about all of the people who have cut me down for certain things, or others.  I thought about all of the times that I held myself back.  Or felt worthless.  Next thing I knew, it was over.

I was soaked in sweat, my knees were a little weak, but I DID NOT QUIT!  I pushed through, and went farther than I ever thought possible.

Am I perfect?  Certainly NO!  But I now know and understand just how far I am willing to go.

Now, the toenail... I am not sure when, how, or even where it happened... But after my shower, I noticed that my nail polish was chipped... Upon further inspection... MY TOENAIL HAD BEEN RIPPED OFF!!!  It doesn't hurt, it didn't bleed, and I promise I am fine.  Just another excuse to go get my toes done again.

Much love!!  Keep going!  You are doing this, no matter how great or small your accomplishment is, YOU brought yourself one step farther!

Breaking the Habit

I have a question... why is it SO HARD to change habits as an adult?

I mean, even as adults, there are consequences.  So, what's the big deal?!  Why is behavior modification so much easier seemingly as a child?

It feels like all the planning, prepping, scheduling, tracking, and following certain criteria has resulted in my still wanting the bad stuff.  I could eat the crap out of a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg right now... Have we really gone so far in altering foods to train our bodies to enjoy the terrible stuff that there is no going back?

Sunday cheat day is such a wonderful time of the week!  I try not to go completely crazy, but it's the day that we throw the rule book to the side and enjoy what we are craving.  Sometimes it's an ice cold Dr. Pepper, or a nice hot slice of pepperoni pizza.  Sometimes, it's even ice cream!  

And then Monday comes...

Monday's are the worst for me!  I wake up wanting all of the bad stuff that I enjoyed the day before.  Usually by Tuesday, my mind and body have gotten it together enough that eating like a rabbit isn't so bad.  But those sugar hangovers are ROUGH to get through sometimes.

On a different note, I have created for myself a new food journal.  In the time that I started tracking everything for my nutritionist, I had gone completely through an entire notebook.  While they aren't expensive, I really didn't want to buy a new note book every month... I do want to keep all of the information so I can look back and see my progress.  So, I created a binder with pages that includes all of my tracked information.  When one month comes to an end, I can see a general outline for the month, and each day if I want.  Today is only day 3 of using, and so far, I think I like it!

I am tracking quite a lot of information, most comes from my tracking between myfitnesspal.com and my fitbit.

Daily, I track:

Calories IN

Calories OUT

Steps

Sleep - Time sleeping, Awake, and Restless

Food

Activities

Weekly, I track:

Measurements

Weight

General Notes

I hope to be able to keep 1 year in each binder.  Which means I HAVE to be in this for the long haul.  My plan is to get monthly dividers, and keep notes on things that happen in that month.  For example, my bib from the recent 5k is going to get stapled to my May monthly sheet!  I think it will be the best way for me to keep track of my progress in 1 central location.

If you see me, and you see me with a green binder (because I didn't have an orange one...) and you want to see it, just say so!  I will gladly show anyone who wants a look.  Might give you an idea on how to track your own progress!

Muay Thai tonight and Strength Training!  I hope my legs hold out!  This rain is hurting...

Friday Funnies!

It's Friday, we are in the midst of busy season at work... so have a good laugh!! 

The very last one is something I need to remember in Judo... I WILL NOT hurt anyone, and if I do, they are trying to hurt me... so ready or not, here I come!!

Happy Friday!

Eat to live, or live to eat? That is the question...

Food is a MAJOR downfall of mine... I want to eat it!  Usually, it tastes good, so why not - Right?

Well, I am starting to notice things while on this journey.  Why do I eat when I do?  I eat breakfast in the morning, because I am awake, it's early, and I am told its the most important meal of the day.  But what I am also noticing is that if I eat breakfast when I am hungry, and it's on plan, I tend not to snack until lunch.  It's strange the way the brain works!

I find that if I eat junk for breakfast, I feel like I am starving an hour later... 

Lunch... same thing.  If I eat something on plan, and around the general lunch time, I am satisfied. 

I do admit, when I have a training session coming up, I do try to squeeze in a small snack just to keep my tank filled until I get home for dinner.  I don't always get it in, but I can certainly tell when I don't.

After dinner, I sometimes struggle... because I want something sweet.  Lately, I have been satisfied with an on plan "fudge bar" and I am good.  But sometimes, I just want to eat chocolate.  The only time I allow myself to do so is on Sunday cheat days, and usually I forget all about the candy...

The hardest time I have with eating is when my emotions get out of control.  If I get frustrated, I want to eat.  Happy?  I want to eat.  Sad?  Eat.

Why is this?  Why do we celebrate everything with food?  You did great today!  Let's go eat some ice cream.  Or, Aunt Flo is in town, let's celebrate with EATING EVERYTHING!! (ladies, raise your hand if you are with me!!)

I have challenged myself and my support group with this:  why are you eating?

My goal is not to question why I am eating breakfast/lunch/dinner, but why am I munching at my desk after I just had lunch?  Why am I making myself sick off of chips and salsa, after I have already eaten my sandwich for dinner?  And then eating an entire package of strawberries?  There is NO WAY I should have been hungry after dinner...

So, I challenge you dear reader... why are you eating?  If you are choosing donuts for breakfast, ok!  But why do you feel you need 2, 3, or more?  Eating lunch at noon?!  That's fine!  But then why are you nearly gnawing on your desk an hour later?

Maybe I am wrong, but focusing on the WHY helps me determine the behavior that may or may not need to change.

Until tomorrow!!

Rest and Support

Not going to lie...that 5k pretty much ruined my legs.  But that's ok.  With some TENS Unit therapy, and some rest, I will be as good as new tomorrow!  And right back to it!

Don't have much to say on the REST department, other than you KNOW when you need it.

So on to the Support!

I pretty much have the best support system a person could ask for.  When my husband sleeps during the day, I am part of a very small (there are only 3 of us) facebook group that chats most days.  About anything and everything, really... but we are seriously each others cheerleaders!  When one of us feels down, the other 2 are there to encourage!  

I am finding that support is also a very important component of getting healthy.  Some days, it isn't very easy.  In fact, most days, it's really hard.  Some days, it's easier to just give up and go back to what was easy!  But that's when it is desperately important to have a secure support system in place.  

We 3 walked through the 5k together, and we REFUSED to let each other quit!  They are incredibly important, and I wouldn't be as far as I am today without my support!

My advice for the day is to get a support system - Someone, or people, you trust who will be honest with you when you need it, raise you up when you feel low, 

Roller Coaster Race 2016

5:30am came WAY TOO FAST this morning, but when the alarm went off, I got up.  I was ready and out the door by 6:00 to meet some friends so we could all ride together.  Stopped at QT for a quick breakfast that consisted of a breakfast burrito and an Orange Monster.  I mean, if you are going to do anything that early, you need go juice.  Coffee and running, apparently, do NOT mix well... so Monster was the next best choice!

We got to Six Flags St. Louis, and the race started at 7:30.  A bunch of other people showed up too! There was a 5k AND a 10k... overachievers... HA!  We headed towards the back of the line so to keep out of the way.  Plus, none of us had really prepared for this as much as we should have, so we were there more for fun than anything else.

Because we were so far back, we actually crossed the start line nearly 2 minutes in!

Of course, we got all excited when the first thing we saw after the start line was the 3 mile marker... Too bad we were only .1 mile into the race.

We went all the way around the parking lot, and as we were nearing the first mile marker, we heard the 5k winner cross the line.  I didn't know people could run that fast, but apparently they can!  Not sure who it was, but good for them!

We came around the parking lot and headed towards the water park.  That was kind of neat, because we actually ended up behind the Batman Ride.  The 1 mile marker was near the Joker, and we were then INSIDE the park.  I didn't get a picture of mile 1.  I guess I was too excited to think about it.

We came around to the front of the Batman and then headed towards the Palace.  This is where we encountered Mile 2.

Won't lie... Mile 2 was THE WORST!!  We past the Palace and headed towards the Tidal Wave.  On the way, we climbed the hill that I even hated when I was a kid!  It is rough on a good day, and here we are on Race Day... everyone knows that hill... its the hill that you encounter near the McDonald's and you have to take to get to the Mine Train.  Once we got past the Tidal Wave, we encountered THE WORST HILL OF THE DAY!!!  It was almost straight up!  It's the hill that takes you around behind the Screaming Eagle (which was NOT running, and I didn't get to ride today... sad panda...) That hill hurt.  

After the Screaming Eagle, we got to cut through Ole Glory Amphitheater (is that how you spell that?  Spellcheck says that's how you spell that... but I am not sure).  Then I got a stupid rock in my shoe.  But I had a great seat for the No Concert Going On.

After we made it out of Ole Glory, we headed back towards the Palace, and then turned towards the new Justice League ride and Mr. Freeze.

After Mr. Freeze, we ended up over near American Thunder (the best ride after the Screaming Eagle) and then back behind the scenes.  It was kind of weird to be back in this area... It was where we saw the old Mystery Machine, and the props for Fright Fest.

Then... we rounded the corner, and guess what we saw??

THAT'S RIGHT!  THE LEGIT MILE 3 MARKER!!!

We heard the music, we heard the crowd screaming for us, and WE CROSSED THE FINISH LINE!

We were met with our Run Medals and Powerade and Food!

Pretty neat if you ask me!

Then started the roller coaster portion.  I was a little nervous, because of fitting.  We met up with my cousin and some friends, and it was time to RIDE.

We rode Mr. Freeze first, and I got a little nervous because someone before us had to leave because they couldn't fit.  My heart broke for that person.  But she had a great attitude!  Then my gate opened.  My cousin went first, and then I got in.  I did get nervous because while I got the lap bar down, I couldn't get the belt.  Turns out, my arms were too short to reach.  The worker came down to check the bars, and snapped that belt like it was no problem!  I even had wiggle room!

That first ride was incredible!  I thought it was fun forward, but now they run it backwards!! It is so awesome on every level!

We then went to ride American Thunder, then The Boss, and finally the Mine Train 3 times (to be safe)

There was no way we were going to do the Ninja - we all enjoyed not having headaches for the rest of the day.  Screaming Eagle wasn't running, Boomerang looked silly, and Pandemonium makes me sick... BUT the goal was to ride 3.1 miles... and we did it!

Got a medal for THAT too!

Ran into my boyfriend while walking around the park...

And you CAN'T come to Six Flags without indulging in a waffle cone... I mean, St. Louis IS the home of the waffle cone... (maybe that's just MY excuse - Sunday is cheat day...)

All in all, I had an awesome day.  My legs hurt so bad, sleep is going to hurt, but it was a wonderful day!  We had great weather, great company, and we ALL did something today!  Some people are too afraid to run/walk a 5k... we did it!  We may not have been the fastest, it may not have been the prettiest, but we finished!  We crossed the finish line!  And THAT is what is important.  Finish what you start, even if it hurts.  Nothing worth doing is going to be easy.  And while I am sore today, and probably tomorrow too, once the pain leaves I will be stronger!

HUGE SHOUTOUT to my friends:  Dawn Thaler, Mike Farmer, Pat McGee, Carolyn Kinnunen, and Emily and David McCosky!  WE DID IT GUYS!!! (except we totally forgot a group picture...)

We did this.  I DID THIS!  And I choose NOT to give up!! No horizontal running for this chick!