I have been thinking... strange, I know!! I have been watching Whitney Thore's show, My Big Fat Fabulous Life, and it has the wheels in my brain turning. (Kind of like the Wheel in the Sky...)
I have spent nearly a year in MMA training... I can feel myself getting stronger, and I know I have improved from our first class (seriously... I couldn't even shadow box...) and I could barely make it through a Judo class without Power Spitting - though I still struggle with that from time to time. My new motto for Judo - It's all fun and games, until someone power spits. Then it's just fun!
I have been so incredibly hard on myself for not losing weight. I have lost some inches, but even that has slowly stopped. I keep track of my food, and I lose when I stay super strict. BUT, if I have 1 cheat day (which is Sunday in our house) I gain literally everything I have lost right back. I know its a side effect of PCOS - I have to work twice as hard to lose half the weight - but it is extremely frustrating.
And then I started watching MBFFL... Her message is clear, and one we can all relate to! Love yourself! Unlike some of the deplorable comments left on her videos, Whitney does NOT encourage obesity. While she is over 300 pounds, she dances, works out, works for the Greensboro Grasshoppers as an marketing assistant, and she eats healthy! She encourages ALL people, because let's be real for a second... even guys have body image issues, to love themselves and be the best "them" they can be!
This struck a chord with me, as I have always been a hater on myself. I don't need anyone else's comments about my weight, or my body, because I had enough negative talk on my own. I would be the first to call myself fat, ugly, and any other derogatory word I could think of to tear myself down.
When I was in elementary school, the kids in my class didn't think that calling me "Shanna Banana" was enough... they took to calling me "Shanna Keel the Banana Peel" and at first, that hurt me... But then I figured out that they wouldn't laugh at me, or call me that clever little name if I owned it, or used it first.
I started using that as my defense mechanism. People can't laugh at you, if you are laughing at you first! And it worked. But it turned into a vicious cycle of me just being down right mean to myself. No one should have to be mean to themselves to keep other people from being mean to them...
I have started to notice that I did use that mindset for most of my life. For example: People can't make fun of you for not drinking, if you could out drink them first. People can't make fun of you for not being able to dance, if you choreographed the swing choir using moves you COULD do (shout out to my swing choir homies!!) People can't call you fat, if you already call yourself a fat kid.
Senior year, at only 140 pounds, I called myself a Fat Kid. Going so far as to create a band name for a band that I didn't have called "Fat Kids Eat Cake" If only I could go back and slap myself right in the face...
So, what am I going to do about it now? Well... if I am struggling with body image issues, I KNOW other people are too! I want to create a safe place, like Whitney did with her Big Girl Dance Class, for people to connect and fight back against their own body issues. Maybe create a walking event - not like your typical 5k or anything. But set aside some time, on a day, where we can all get together and walk the park - because regardless of size or shape, we should be able to enjoy nature without shame.
Maybe create an event to encourage people to come try Muay Thai - because weight, size, and shape shouldn't stop you from trying new things. Or Judo! If you can figure out how to throw something that is trying to throw you, shape and size eventually don't matter! (obviously, I would have to talk to my gym, but it's a thought running through my brain)
Or a zumba class! Or a bike ride! Or just getting together, creating a safe place to talk, and talking it out! No one should feel like they have to hide in the house because they think people are going to make fun of them for any reason. Body shaming is bullying! Making fun of someone for something they can or can't do is BULLYING!!
I have always been a fighter for the underdog... where are my fellow underdogs?! We ALL need this! Everyone needs a "life support" group! What if people stopped being mean, and started being nice to each other?!
Can't wait to see where this leads!!!
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