Hi... my name is Shanna... and I am an ADDICT!

Kind of a harsh title, but it shares a little bit of truth that I don't normally like to talk about.

I am addicted to food.  I want to eat all of the time!  When I am sad, give me a Big Mac.  When I am happy, give me some pizza.  When I am feeling my depression or anxiety creep in... give me everything in the fridge!  

There isn't too many food items I would turn down - except mushrooms.  Allergic and don't feel like dying... so no mushrooms.

I am sitting here right now, pounding my water, because I KNOW that I don't need chips.  I ate my breakfast, I drank my vanilla ice cream snack... I don't need chips!  I don't need anything else until lunch!  It's a struggle.  And I know I am not alone.

I want to say something, and I want you - lovely reader - to listen (or read) to me very carefully.  Addiction is no joke.  Addiction of any kind - food, drugs, alcohol, exercise, gambling, WHATEVER!  I was addicted to alcohol... I would drink to make everything stop.  And I would drink heavily.  So please PLEASE don't think that I am making light of addiction.  I am not.

I have seen first hand what drug addiction can do to a family - both to the user, and the family they have left behind.  Now that I am sober, I realize what my drinking had done to my friends, family, and even potential jobs!  

I have an addictive personality.  If I get involved with something, I jump head first into it.  I want to read about, study it, watch movies/documentaries about it... you name it.  I have to know everything.  And I have noticed this tendency in my training aspect too.  I have watched my judo competition video 102397875480977978 times, looking at my game and where I need to improve.  

Food addiction is a very serious thing... and out of all the things you can be addicted to, I feel it's the hardest to get over.  You can go to rehab to get away from drugs or alcohol... but you still need food to live.  

I have taken steps to stay accountable.  For instance, I am in constant contact with my Sensei, my nutritionist, and even our facebook group.  I know how it feels to have to face the music for stuffing my face at McDonald's... It helps to keep my sugar levels steady - when they dip, I notice my depression and anxiety run wild!  

There are so many things I used to hide, because I felt ashamed of them.  My food addiction being one... I can't keep quiet anymore.  That doesn't help me, and it won't help someone else.  So, here I am... taking the steps to admit:

My name is Shanna... and I am an Addict.

I will always struggle with food.  It fills my stomach, and it fills voids.  BUT with the house full of good, healthy things, at least I will be filling up on fruits and vegetables.

Anything you want to share?!

#LosingtheFatKid

**Watch for a weigh in Wednesday video tomorrow!  I have been forgetting my camera to make videos for you all... FAIL!  Any suggestions for content??**