Size... does it matter?

I found this picture to be funny, but it's so incredibly true!  I am becoming more and more self aware, and realize that I am a big girl.  I have always known that, but it's taken some time to realize just how big I have gotten.

I QUIT!! Not really, but that is how I feel today...

I was looking over my food journal from the last couple of days... it appears that my cheat day fell into Saturday, and even yesterday.

At least, that is how I feel.

Honestly, my calories went over on Sunday, but I don't really track that day to begin with.  Saturday and Monday, I was fine.  I am sure today I will be fine too!

Went over a bit on salt though.. so that's not good.

I have a doctor's appointment this Friday, and I am kind of nervous about it.  Mainly because I am working hard, eating SO.MUCH.BETTER, but the scale is not moving as fast as I would like it to.  Those couple of pounds I was excited about have come back on... I just don't understand!

Honestly, it makes me want to quit!  Why work this hard for no weight to be lost?  I already know "muscle weighs more than fat" and "I am losing inches" but am I really?  Mom and I measured Friday evening and our measurements went UP from what the doctor showed...  WHAT THE CRAP MAN?!?!?!

Normally, I would just chalk it up to being a beginner and it's going to take time for my body to lose the weight that has taken me years to put on... but this is just flat out DUMB!!  It is extremely discouraging, and I HATE it!

I blame the weather... it has been rainy and icky for days now.  This is how I know for sure I wouldn't ever survive in the PNW.  I need sunshine in my life!! This weather is making me extremely crabby...

I am half way considering doing away with a weekly cheat day, and turning it into a cheat meal on Sunday.  I have to do something...

I did the calculations and in order to lose 2 pounds per week, I should only eat 1200 calories a day.  I can do it, I have done it in the past, and as long as I eat tons of fruit and veggies I should be way more than ok.  It's just so hard... and I guess I am feeling discouraged because I am not seeing the results I should be.

I should be getting faster in Muay Thai... but I feel slower.  I should be getting stronger... I can barely do a push up.

Sorry to be Debbie Downer... but we all have days where we just want to quit.  Today is my day.

Here's hoping tomorrow is better!

Eat to live, or live to eat? That is the question...

Food is a MAJOR downfall of mine... I want to eat it!  Usually, it tastes good, so why not - Right?

Well, I am starting to notice things while on this journey.  Why do I eat when I do?  I eat breakfast in the morning, because I am awake, it's early, and I am told its the most important meal of the day.  But what I am also noticing is that if I eat breakfast when I am hungry, and it's on plan, I tend not to snack until lunch.  It's strange the way the brain works!

I find that if I eat junk for breakfast, I feel like I am starving an hour later... 

Lunch... same thing.  If I eat something on plan, and around the general lunch time, I am satisfied. 

I do admit, when I have a training session coming up, I do try to squeeze in a small snack just to keep my tank filled until I get home for dinner.  I don't always get it in, but I can certainly tell when I don't.

After dinner, I sometimes struggle... because I want something sweet.  Lately, I have been satisfied with an on plan "fudge bar" and I am good.  But sometimes, I just want to eat chocolate.  The only time I allow myself to do so is on Sunday cheat days, and usually I forget all about the candy...

The hardest time I have with eating is when my emotions get out of control.  If I get frustrated, I want to eat.  Happy?  I want to eat.  Sad?  Eat.

Why is this?  Why do we celebrate everything with food?  You did great today!  Let's go eat some ice cream.  Or, Aunt Flo is in town, let's celebrate with EATING EVERYTHING!! (ladies, raise your hand if you are with me!!)

I have challenged myself and my support group with this:  why are you eating?

My goal is not to question why I am eating breakfast/lunch/dinner, but why am I munching at my desk after I just had lunch?  Why am I making myself sick off of chips and salsa, after I have already eaten my sandwich for dinner?  And then eating an entire package of strawberries?  There is NO WAY I should have been hungry after dinner...

So, I challenge you dear reader... why are you eating?  If you are choosing donuts for breakfast, ok!  But why do you feel you need 2, 3, or more?  Eating lunch at noon?!  That's fine!  But then why are you nearly gnawing on your desk an hour later?

Maybe I am wrong, but focusing on the WHY helps me determine the behavior that may or may not need to change.

Until tomorrow!!

I AM Doing This!!

Last night was Muay Thai training.  I am doing this!!  You can do this too!

I asked Sensei Jeremy, who was there working with a fighter to prepare for a fight, if he could take some pictures during training for me.  I have to be honest, it is really hard to hold a camera, wear boxing gloves, and train! HA!

I am a southpaw, so that is my cross

Right hook

We were doing drills that including moving our feet while throwing strikes.  Coach Sabo (the guy in the green shorts) is also a southpaw.  

Working ladder drills

Husband and Wife!  But during class, we are Orthodox vs. Southpaw

Leg kick

Body shot

We LOVE training together!  Especially because we can work on dutch drills at home, and we already have a partner!  

This is how we spend our Monday and Wednesday nights together!  And sometimes on Saturday too!  When you find something that you both enjoy, it's very easy to continue and stay motivated.

Shout out to our class for constant encouragement.  Most times, I am the only girl.  I ask them not to kill me, but don't take it easy on me either.  Thank you Coach Sabo for your constant encouragement and patience as we build our skills.

Want to join us for a class?  Contact The Hit Squad today!  

Judo Shenanigans!

Don't have much to talk about today...  went to Judo last night, and I learned a new throw!

I won't lie, the art of Judo is extremely interesting. Created in 1882, Judo was created in Japan as a form of grappling.  The objective:  Throw or take down an opponent to subdue with a pin, or force a submission with a choke.  The practitioner is known as a Judoka, and the uniform is a Judogi, or Gi.

I promise, there is plenty more to it than how I just described it.  But it is very cool, when done properly.  I think I look like a crazy person... but my Sensei said I was doing great!

Ronda Rousey is a Judoka that most people know.  Her mother was also a trained Judoka!  I will let the video speak for her...

I don't know how to do any of those yet, but I am also just starting out.  I have to be honest with you, while I may look silly and I may have a hard time keeping up with some of the other students, I know that with time I will get better!  I already feel some core strength (read, aches and pains) in places that I didn't know I was using.  

My Sensei and classmates are incredible people!  They are patient with me (I ask a lot of questions) critique without being harsh (I do things wrong most of the time) and they do not let me quit!  They are all incredibly encouraging!

If you are worried that you will look silly - I STILL can't hardly do a somersault - you will!  But you will improve and look great eventually!  The hardest step is the first step onto the mat, the rest is a piece of cake! You even get to learn some words and phrases in Japanese!

Later this week, Friday perhaps, I will be posting an interview with Rowdy Reagan Johnson, who is in my class and is heading to Texas this year to compete in the Junior Olympics!   

Motivational Monday!

Who is ready to get back to work?  Today is our first day of vacation, and we are already off to a slow start.  The day should have started at 10... but sleeping sounded like more fun!

We have a few quick errands to run, and then we get to spring clean our yard!  Yeah for adulting!

At 5pm we HAVE to watch the news!  Our inspiration for working on ourselves is being interviewed by Channel 5 News!  Susie "MaMA Beast" Wyatt.  She is 50 years strong and... GOING PRO!!  Her first professional MMA fight is June 3rd!  We are so excited and proud to be her friends.  She trains at The Hit Squad, and her coach is also a Judo Sensei at THS.

Training has sure brought some incredible people into our lives who are turning into more like family!  They encourage us, inspire us, and most of all!!  They don't let us quit!

That's the goal though!  Not quitting!  You can't give up, you can't lose sight of your goals.

You got this!

Happy Monday!!