Day 3 - Angry Much?

You are merciful and gentle, Lord, slow in getting angry, full of constant lovingkindness - Psalm 86:15

Day 3

The reason I find this meme so funny is because I honestly said that to Diana one night... Before Diana was born, I was nervous.  See, I had 2 types of grandmothers growing up... I had a grandmother who was God on earth!  She was beautiful inside and out, loved everyone unconditionally, and was the truest definition of "Grandmother"

Then, I had another Grandma... she wasn't very nice.  She had her favorites, and she made sure to let everyone else know that you were NOT her favorite.  Thankfully for me, I somehow made the cut of being a favorite... but I still saw many things that were what I consider traumatic.  The one thing I will always remember about her is that she had a horribly quick temper.  And that is all I am going to say about her, because like other things of my past, I don't want to go into her...

Her quick temper always scared me... and I spent a lot of my adult life trying NOT to have her quick temper.  There was a time when I was sure that I was just like her... and fast forwarding to parenting, that terrified me.

My mom gave me a great piece of advice "Just remember, Diana can only communicate with you by facial expressions and screams or cries.  She can't tell you what hurts, or that she is hungry, or that she is tired.  So, when her cries won't stop, just remember she is getting frustrated too"

The hospital stay was so wonderful, I thought we had it all figured out and that we could handle anything!! And then we went home...

The first night, we spent most of the night trying to calm Diana who basically cried the whole time.  I started thinking things like "we made a mistake.  I can't believe they sent her home with us... I am not cut out for this.  I am not ready yet" and I had a melt down.  I was an emotional wreck too... my hormones were no where near regulated, I was already showing signs of Postpartum Anxiety, and I just knew that I was not going to be a good mother...

After my break down, I pulled myself together enough to realize and remember that Diana had no other way of telling me something wasn't right.  I started repeating that fact to myself and that I needed to be slow to anger.  Which led me down a path of "if I have to remind myself to be slow to anger with an innocent new born, how much more merciful is our Heavenly Father to be slow to anger with me?!"

So the meme... one night, she was screaming and I said something like "for sure, you don't have to scream in my face!" of course I said it jokingly, and Brandon heard me say it over the baby monitor.  We still laugh about that when she is fussing and having a moment.

When we are faced with things that are out of our own control that could potentially make us very angry, just try to remember to be slow to anger.  The stress level will immediately fall.

You are merciful and gentle, Lord, slow in getting angry, full of constant lovingkindness - Psalm 86:15

How can you be slow to anger?  How can you be kind, when you feel like blowing your lid?  How much more gentle is God with us in our moments?